A few weeks ago, Emma shared with Grandma that her preschool teacher mispronounces her last name. Emma’s preschool teacher is fabulous, and I certainly don’t hold it against her. Our last name is easy to mispronounce, and it has happened often to my husband and me. Emma said she didn’t want to tell her teacher that she was mispronouncing it, so I planned to bring it up casually sometime in the future. However, I have long been a people pleaser, for good and for bad, and I just didn’t have the heart to bring it up. It never seemed the perfect moment or the ideal time.
Well, today I had the privilege of volunteering in Emma’s preschool classroom. I loved observing her in her school environment and was thrilled to see for myself what I already believed: that the kids are well loved, wisely educated, and thoroughly engaged. Emma seemed happy to be at school and sweetly concerned with doing as she was asked. This was great and what I want for her—to be respectful, follow the rules, and make the educational environment conducive to learning for others as well as herself.
At the end of the morning, as we were walking away from the school, I told Emma that I saw the teacher asking other kids what their first and last names were. Then, I asked her what she had said when it was her turn. She answered, “Emma.”
Next, I asked her what else she said. Growing uncomfortable, she said, “Just Emma, Mommy.” Emma happens to be a kid who is very verbal. She has known how to say her last name since she was 15 months old, and she could spell it at 22 months. So I said, “But you know your last name. What did you tell her?” She looked as though she would like to melt into the sidewalk, and I tried to encourage her with my most understanding mommy gaze. Then, she said our last name in the same way that her teacher has been mispronouncing it. It turns out that she wanted to save face for her teacher more than she wanted her name pronounced correctly.
In that moment, I realized that my people pleasing propensity either got passed along in a gene or has been learned over the past three and a half years...more likely the latter. Right then and there, we turned around, walked back to the school, and I confessed to the teacher. She, of course, was gracious and kind. Emma (thankfully) didn’t melt into the sidewalk from embarrassment, and I received an important reminder that watching out for my kids might mean that I have to step out of my comfort zone so that they will be willing and confident to do the same. I am so grateful that Emma is respectful to others. She is kind and sweet and thoughtful and surprisingly tactful for a preschooler. Now I just need to balance that with teaching her to also respect her own needs, to be courageous and willing to speak up if it matters. Maybe the pronunciation of her name really isn’t such a big deal to her…but I want her to know how to use her voice when she finds something that is.
And that is what I learned at preschool today.
Friday, October 15, 2010
Lesson Learned
A few weeks ago, Emma shared with Grandma that her preschool teacher mispronounces her last name. Emma’s preschool teacher is fabulous, and I certainly don’t hold it against her. Our last name is easy to mispronounce, and it has happened often to my husband and me. Emma said she didn’t want to tell her teacher that she was mispronouncing it, so I planned to bring it up casually sometime in the future. However, I have long been a people pleaser, for good and for bad, and I just didn’t have the heart to bring it up. It never seemed the perfect moment or the ideal time.
Well, today I had the privilege of volunteering in Emma’s preschool classroom. I loved observing her in her school environment and was thrilled to see for myself what I already believed: that the kids are well loved, wisely educated, and thoroughly engaged. Emma seemed happy to be at school and sweetly concerned with doing as she was asked. This was great and what I want for her—to be respectful, follow the rules, and make the educational environment conducive to learning for others as well as herself.
At the end of the morning, as we were walking away from the school, I told Emma that I saw the teacher asking other kids what their first and last names were. Then, I asked her what she had said when it was her turn. She answered, “Emma.”
Next, I asked her what else she said. Growing uncomfortable, she said, “Just Emma, Mommy.” Emma happens to be a kid who is very verbal. She has known how to say her last name since she was 15 months old, and she could spell it at 22 months. So I said, “But you know your last name. What did you tell her?” She looked as though she would like to melt into the sidewalk, and I tried to encourage her with my most understanding mommy gaze. Then, she said our last name in the same way that her teacher has been mispronouncing it. It turns out that she wanted to save face for her teacher more than she wanted her name pronounced correctly.
In that moment, I realized that my people pleasing propensity either got passed along in a gene or has been learned over the past three and a half years...more likely the latter. Right then and there, we turned around, walked back to the school, and I confessed to the teacher. She, of course, was gracious and kind. Emma (thankfully) didn’t melt into the sidewalk from embarrassment, and I received an important reminder that watching out for my kids might mean that I have to step out of my comfort zone so that they will be willing and confident to do the same. I am so grateful that Emma is respectful to others. She is kind and sweet and thoughtful and surprisingly tactful for a preschooler. Now I just need to balance that with teaching her to also respect her own needs, to be courageous and willing to speak up if it matters. Maybe the pronunciation of her name really isn’t such a big deal to her…but I want her to know how to use her voice when she finds something that is.
And that is what I learned at preschool today.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment