The Gift of Giving

Our church does a fantastic job of helping us in our goal to expand the girls’ local and worldview by highlighting needs in the community and globally. In the past year, Emma has worked hard on extra jobs around the house to earn money to help build a well in Africa and is currently trying to make money to help fix donated cars for people in need in our local community. I am grateful that we have a partner in trying to impress upon our kids that they have ways that they can help others even when they are little. We were on our way to church this past weekend, and Emma and I were thinking back to the need for clean water in Africa and then talking about people that don’t have cars to drive where we live, and how that can make it hard to get to work. She thought for a moment, and then, with all the purity of a four-year-old heart, said, “We have all the things, Mama.” She didn’t think about the 16-year-old TV that we just gave away or the 9-year-old TV with broken bunny ears that we still have. She didn’t wish for newer cars or a house with another bedroom. She simply saw that we have all the things we need. And she was right, we do have everyone and everything we need and more. And, in that moment, I saw the dual beauty in trying to raise generous givers. Not only do we hope to give the world two human beings who think of others in addition to themselves, but I also realized that with the help of our church, we are giving our daughters another gift. It is the ability to appreciate all that they have been generously blessed with, focusing on their own haves instead of have nots. And that is a gift that I deem priceless.

Sometimes You Just Have To Smile

We had the perfect morning. I stayed up too late last night getting some work done, and when I heard the first kid noises at 6-something this morning, I inwardly groaned. Then, amazingly, I rolled over and so did the little ones (in their own beds.) The next thing I knew, I woke up at 8:45 a.m. to silence and utter shock that a) I had slept that late and b) BOTH of my children had allowed me to on the same day. Emma has been waking up two hours before this morning’s rise and shine, and I have grown to expect it, but I was beyond thrilled at my luck. It was especially impressive when I discovered that there had been an extremely loud, turbulent storm while we all slept. We were supposed to go over to a good friend’s house for a play date, but she sent me a text that they had no power. We gladly had them over to our house, allowing us to not have to leave our house in our pjs to make it to theirs by 9:30 a.m. The kids and I both had a wonderful time with our friends, and by the time Conant came home to see us for lunch, I was practically flying from our morning. That’s when I made my big mistake…I told him, “I haven’t had a morning this easy in a long time. I slept in, we had a great time with good friends, and it’s been such a fun, relaxing day.” If you were watching a movie of my life, you would know that the other shoe was about to drop. And drop it did, though not in any horrible way. More in a slow, comical deterioration of the “easy” day I was quickly getting accustomed to after a few hours of bliss. It began as lunch was ending and Conant was headed out the door to a meeting. Typically, we eat brown rice. Today, as a special treat, we were eating white, sticky rice and vegetables for our lunch. Did I mention sticky? Now, I have to say that we have one very darling two-year-old, but she is two, and sometimes she exercises the right to act, well, her age. So, as lunch was finishing and my helpful hubby was headed out the door, she flung her still half-full plate under the table, sending small, very sticky, rice soldiers marching all around our kitchen. After making her “clean it up,” I began the real clean up, down on my hands and knees and crawling around like many parents of toddlers do after mealtime, though this time an extended version without the possibility of a broom or a vacuum to free those sticky guys from our tile floor. After I had gotten every last grain of rice, I vacuumed and mopped the floor for good measure. Next, I was really looking forward to getting some things done during nap time. Happily, Lily naps every afternoon, almost without fail. Well, given her late morning, she was not able to fall asleep. I took it in stride, knowing that the rare chance to sleep in was worth it. I continued through the day, realizing that our afternoon would seem longer without any down time, but feeling confident that I could handle whatever came my way after such a great night of sleep. So, some things came my way. First, Emma got out all of the ingredients to make homemade granola. I was impressed by her ambition and got off the phone with a friend to fully focus on our group baking session. Lily was wearing a brand new, white dress that had been a gift from Grandma and Grandpa, so I told her that she could only help if she wore an apron. At first, she refused, but then she let me put it on her. We began, me fully in the moment, off the phone, and enjoying baking with my girls. Again, the unpredictable twos struck. Lily grabbed the measuring cup that had Canola oil still in the bottom and, tilting her head back to try and get a taste, dumped it on top of her head. It just so happened that right before she did this, she ripped off her apron. Her new white dress and adorable curly brown hair were an oil slick, and she looked rather surprised at the turn of events. I’d like to say that I followed the plea of one of the cover stories from the Parents magazine that arrived in the mail today to “Be a More Mellow Mom.” (I haven’t read the article, but I’m pretty sure they don’t have a two-year-old sous chef.) Instead, I chose to be a “Use Your Child’s First, Middle, and Last Name Mom.” I took off the dress, applied degreaser, carried my oily cherub to the bath, and put her in as she cried over having to take off her “special dress from Grandma.” After I bathed her, she still looked like she could audition for Grease, but it was a mild improvement. At this point, though, between the loss of the treasured dress, the lack of a nap, and mommy’s use of her full name, she had gone into two-year-old tantrum mode. She was writhing and screaming, refusing to have her diaper put on, twenty-four pounds of disgruntled determination. I returned downstairs to four-year-old Emma, calmly began to mix the homemade granola with her, and then headed up a couple of minutes later to check on Lily. She still wasn’t ready, so I put her in time out for not listening, and went down to start pouring the granola into the pan. At this point, Lily came down, sat on her daddy’s kitchen chair and told me, “Ready for diaper now, Mama.” I was glad to hear it, and I told her as soon as I finished putting the granola in the pan, I would help her. For those of you who haven’t eaten with us and those of you who never will again, our kitchen chairs are covered in fabric. In the forty-five seconds that it took me to complete spreading the granola in the pan, Lily looked at me with much wonder and said, “Daddy chair all wet, Mama.” I looked down, and sure enough, there was a sizeable puddle on Daddy’s chair. I ran to the sink to get something to clean it up, scrubbed with all my might, washed my hands, put the granola in the oven, and diapered my two-year-old. At which point, Emma said, “Mama, I’ve been a really good listener today, haven’t I?” And then, I just had to smile, because she did help us have a brighter day, and she was two once, too. Two years ago, she was learning about life and rules and consequences as only a two-year-old could, and now that she is four, the need for urgent mid-day baths seems to have mostly passed. She still has her four-year-old moments, but they are somehow much less messy, require fewer mopping sessions, and less scrubbing. So, though I have to say that it wasn’t an easy afternoon, it was a memorable one. I will remember that having children is part adventure, part love, and part hard work. I will remember to not expect a freshly mopped floor to last for more than a few minutes. Most of all, I will remember that this, too, shall pass, and I might even long for the days of greasy brown curls on a cute little head. Though I’m pretty sure that I will also enjoy the days when both girls can mop the floor themselves, know not to dump Canola oil on their heads, and require no diapering whatsoever. Still, I’m in no hurry for that. I’m guessing more than the Canola oil, I will remember my favorite quote from earlier in the day. As Lily ran in terror while I vacuumed, I heard Emma over the roar of the vacuum bestow her big sister wisdom: “Don’t worry, Lily. Mama won’t vacuum you. She loves you.” Maybe I am a mellow mom after all, or even better, a mom with boundaries and unconditional love, even when things get sticky. At least, I hope that’s what my kids will remember.

The Highlight Reel

Life has gotten busy, and among other things, spring (and now summer) cleaning has caused me to tackle some organizational projects in lieu of blogging. So now I find myself behind on recording memories that I hope to look back on one day. Therefore, this entry is going to be a highlight reel. May started with our sweet L turning two. We celebrated on her birthday with cake at lunch before Conant had to leave on a business trip that afternoon. At dinner, Emma, Lily, and I went out to eat with Grandpa and Grandma, Uncle Jason, Aunt Amanda, and Cousin Brynlee. We sang Happy Birthday at Lily’s birth time, and she loved every second of her special day. On Saturday, we had a family birthday with a love and nature / owl theme to coordinate with her big girl room.

 

Later in the month, Emma finished a fantastic preschool year. I was able to go and spend time with her on the last day, and it was fun to see her in her school element. She gained so much confidence this year. I am proud of her growth and grateful for her loving teachers.

 

With both girls being together full time again, we have had more moments of sibling rivalry, but also kindness. Emma has started to read to Lily more and also deliberately explain things to her: “Don’t worry, Lily. You think I’m going to eat it all, but I’m saving some for tomorrow, and I will give you some, too.” For Lily’s part, whenever she bumps into Emma, she says, “Sorry, EmEm,” and sometimes follows it with a hug. They play together more all of the time. At the end of May, we had family fun in Madison with an overnight trip. It was our best family (mini-)vacation yet. We went to the zoo. Grandpa and Grandma met us there and then took the girls to lunch while Conant and I had a quick lunch date. After, our family of four went to the hotel as Grandpa and Grandma headed home. The girls adored the swimming pool. They were so good at dinner, Trader Joe’s, and back at the hotel sleeping that night. After they fell asleep, Conant and I took turns going downstairs to work out. The next morning, we planned to go to the Farmer’s Market, but the girls had so much fun at the pool, we took them there again instead. They were fantastic at brunch, and we vowed to have more family fun again soon as we headed home. It is really nice that they are getting big enough to both walk, talk, and have memories of our good times together. I love babies and adore the toddler stage, but there’s something to be said for growing independence when we travel.

 

We’ve made many trips to Magic Waters, and the girls have a fantastic time taking on the kid water slides and splashing around. Emma even tried an adult tunnel slide with me. She said it was scary, but she didn’t cry. I was proud of her for trying it. Lily loves the froggy slide and goes down it again and again. Emma climbs up behind her and makes sure that she’s safe before Lily heads down it where I am waiting. I love to see them care about each other. Later in June, we headed to Pirate’s Cove in the suburbs for a day trip. It was another fun day. Lily started out very tentative but later tried many of the attractions, including the carousel, bounce house, train, and playground. We ate a picnic lunch on the pirate ship, and they both loved making crafts. Overall, it was a great day (in spite of a heart stopping moment when Lily fell off the kid-only carousel bench and the operators were changing over and didn’t see her tumble…yes, I was that mom who yelled, “Stop the carousel!” before she could hit the hard bricks below.) On an up note, my favorite moment of the day was when Emma proudly declared to some other kids in the bounce house, “That’s my sissy!”

 

Recently, we made a couple of trips to see Grandpa and Grandma while Conant had to travel for work. We had a great time on the farm and visiting Great-Grandpa and Great-Grandma W. and other family. I feel grateful that the girls have such warm and loving family members. We’ve also had great play dates with friends, taking advantage of our more flexible summer schedule. Emma has gone to gymnastics and ballet. Lily desperately wishes she were big enough to accompany Emma into her classes. Instead, we play as we watch through the window, and I try to be fun enough to make up for her little sister longings. When Conant arrived home from his most recent work trip, we met him at the bus station with signs reading D-A-D. The girls and I each decorated a letter, and we stood and waited for the bus in their nightgowns, as it was almost bedtime. Conant said they got lots of “awwws!” from other passengers on the bus when they pulled up. They were so excited to see Daddy, as was I!

 

Summer holds much sweetness, and we are thankful to share it with family, friends, and two of the sweetest girls we could imagine.