Giving and Getting

As mothers, we spend so much time giving of ourselves to our children. We kiss away hurts, clean messy bottoms, teach and encourage, fold piles of laundry, wash the same dishes again and again, wipe away crumbs, rock away tears. There are definitely days when I feel my exhaustion mounting in direct correlation with my “to do” list, but this reminds me of some sage advice my dad once gave me. He told me that I’d know that I was ready to get married when I was ready to stop keeping score. I think the same applies to motherhood. I was ready to become a mother when I could pour myself into another human being without checking to see how much I was getting back. The funny thing is, now that I am a mom, I realize that somehow I am still getting more than I’m giving. When our family of four shares a slow dance, when Emma ends the evening by saying, “Mommy, you are the light of my life,” when Lily gives me her adoring dimpled smile, there is no way that I could begin to fold enough laundry or read enough stories to account for the joy that I am given. So on those no nap days and in those meltdown moments, I’m going to remember that there is no need to keep score. I have already received more than I could ever give.