What’s in a Name?

“What’s in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell just as sweet.” --William Shakespeare (Romeo and Juliet, II, ii, 1-2) When I was pregnant with each of my girls, I lost a fair amount of sleep over choosing the perfect name for them. Especially with our second girl, I found it hard to find the ideal name. We had our share of rules: easy to say and spell (for his entire life, my hubby’s name has been mispronounced and misspelled more often than not, so this was huge for him…for the same reason, he insisted that their names be found in the top 100 most popular girls’ names); at least two syllables (with our last name, this was a must); no negative associations (other teachers can relate to this…though we love all of our students, naming a child after one of them can be tricky); no initials or nicknames that would cause our daughter to be mocked (this is one of the reasons I vetoed the hubby’s desire to have Emma’s middle name be the same as mine. If she became E.L.K. and happened to grow up to be less than tiny, I could imagine the scene on the playground); and our final rule, not able to be shortened (after all, if we were going to this much trouble to pick a name, wouldn’t we want that to be the name the child is actually called? Plus, that way a teacher wouldn’t call our child by the wrong name every time she started a school year.) I don’t think these are universal ideals by which all children should be named…they were just the quirky rules that governed our decisions. As you can tell, I put way too much thought into this. After all, as the great Shakespeare so adeptly said, “That which we call a rose (or a lily) by any other name would smell just as sweet.” Still, I was afraid that somehow the naming of our girls would impact who they were or how they thought of themselves, and I thought that they each deserved to have their name very carefully mulled over. It seemed a small price to pay to lie awake trying to figure out every possible positive and negative connotation a name could bring over the course of their lifetime. Now, looking back at the hours and hours we (especially I) spent trying to name our girls, I am struck with the irony of what has happened. The fact is, we almost never use their names. We are a nickname family. 

For the sake of our family’s nostalgia someday, I decided to compile a list of the nicknames for each of my girls. To think, I worried so much about what we would call them. It turns out that the pet names we’ve given our girls tell more about them (and us…I guess we’re more whimsical than our naming rules might have suggested) than any name we could have chosen before we knew who they really were. Another mom and I were talking once about how, as hard as you try to choose the perfect name for your child, once you get to know the unique little one you have been given, your name choice can’t help but seem woefully inadequate. I told her that I think it is because there is no single word that can possibly encompass all of the hopes and dreams, all of the uniqueness and promise of the sweet life that you are able to watch unfold before you. I guess that is why Conant and I have broken our rule about nicknames. As our girls and our relationship with them continue to evolve, so will the names that we will use to call them to the dinner table, to tuck them in at night, to swing them in our arms. That’s the beauty of nicknames…they aren’t written on any official documents, they don’t have to follow any rules, and one word doesn’t have to capture all we feel for the miracle that is each of our daughters. 

Emma Grace: Munchy (for her ability to eat almost constantly from the time she was a small baby...who could blame her, weighing in at 5 lbs. 12 oz. and 20 inches long?), Munchy Punchy (a combo of her ability to eat and the fists she made as an infant), Munch-a-Puncha (again, her love of eating and the fact that she looked like a prized fighter with her fists always at the ready), The Munch (notice how many derivatives we made from just one character trait…I didn’t say imaginative, just whimsical),  Emma Bunny (she had the cutest little bunny robe as a baby), Bun-a-Bun (stemming from the bunny thing), Bun to the Oven (silly tangential from the bunny), Pumpkin (just a term of endearment), Pumpkin Pie (she was too sweet to leave off the dessert portion), Emma Gracie Facey (having fun with her middle name), Gracie Facey (just a shorter version), Sissy (a term of endearment for her new status as the big sis),   

Lily Rebecca: Peanut (Conant’s nickname for the 6 lb. 2 oz. addition to our family), Peanut Butter (my add-on to Conant’s nickname…maybe my girls get their love of food from me?? I think I’m responsible for all of the food nicknames.), Lily-Meister (a goofy one I came up with in my sleep-deprived state when Lily was new and I wanted her to sound extra-cool to her big sister), Lily, Lily, Golden Bell (some friends gave us an Elisabeth Mitchell CD that has this song on it…great kids’ music because it is palatable for the adult, too…hard to come by and worth nicknaming a kid over), Golden Belle (do you get the trend? Another take off from the Elisabeth Mitchell song…Emma very sweetly calls her baby sister this quite regularly), Lily Pad (courtesy of Uncle J…really should have seen this one coming…missed it during my pregnancy ponderings), More to come, I’m sure...