Two in May

Tomorrow, my baby turns two. I can hardly believe that two years have passed. She has truly made it easy to be her mother (with the exception of heavy sleep deprivation in the beginning.) ;-P Though my pregnancy with her was certainly not simple, she came into the world with very little fuss and a mere two hours of labor. Even as a baby, she tended to cry only when she needed something. As a one-year-old, she proved active and athletic, climbing and running with a smile on her face. She is affectionate and a mommy’s girl, but she also gives love to friends and family that she deems trustworthy, and her smile lights up a room. For the past month, she has been telling people that she will be “two in May,” something my mom taught her to say since I said I would be “two in March” as a one-year-old. At our house, turning two has a couple of new privileges. One is being able to watch a 30-minute DVD a day. I think she will be rather excited when she realizes that she has access to movies now, but knowing her, I will be surprised if she wants to sit still for more than three minutes to watch. That’s okay…I love to watch her busy little body move and explore. The other privilege, which I did not think was a big deal, is that the vitamins that Emma takes are for two years and up. Weeks ago, when Lily was pleading for one, I told her that she could have one when she turns two. She considered this for a moment, and made the connection to her birthday. Ever since then, she likes to tell me, “Lily birthday, two in May, jelly girl (Emma’s name for her vitamins) two in May, Emma jelly girl, Lily jelly girl.” Translated: “It’s almost Lily’s birthday. I will be two in May. I get a jelly girl like big sister Emma when I turn two in May. Could there be anything better?!” I love her excitement for something so small, and I am grateful that I get to spend enough time with her that I usually know what she is trying to communicate. She is hitting the age where she does not always follow my requests to pick up her toys. After a two minute time out, she eagerly runs to do what she was asked. It seems that she has to test that I mean it often, but after the time out, she can’t wait to comply, saying “Hurry! Hurry!” as she does what I asked in the first place. It takes everything in me not to smile. She also uses her climbing skills to reach the snacks of her choice in the pantry, and if we’re not looking, she’s smiling and saying, “Lily, cracker” as she happily munches her prize. We are working on this one, but she likes to smile and say, “Hungry a-geen” for “I was hungry again. What’s a girl to do?” Nevertheless, she does not like to get in trouble and cries when we tell her “no.”

 

She has the cutest manners, saying “Pwease” when she wants something and “Tank you. You’re welcome” when she’s trying to show gratitude. Big sister got a big girl bike yesterday, and fearless Lily likes to climb atop, stretch mightily to reach the pedals, and even get some forward movement. We put away the baby swing on the swingset, as she only wants to sit in the big swing. She no longer wants anything to do with her high chair. She says, “Sit at table. Sit at table” repeatedly until I acknowledge her request. Lily absolutely loves to color, and she is very proud of her artwork. She also loves to snuggle. Whenever it is cold or windy, she says, “Snuggle mommy. Snuggle mommy,” and she burrows into me for warmth. She likes to get a book or a stack of books (and sometimes a SleepSack and a doll) and climb in my bed. She says, “Snuggle Mommy. Mommy’s bed. Read books. Read books.” She is also passionate about being outside and cries when we have to come back in the house. She especially enjoys riding her little car, swinging, and running around the yard. Lately, when she swings, she wants to be pushed so high, begging, "Fastah! Fastah! Highah! Highah!) and then declaring, "I('m) a fah-ee (fairy)" when she gets super high and feels like she's flying. She has started to hold still long enough to plant wonderful, mommy melting kisses on my cheeks. She dances when she sees Conant and says, “Daddy’s home! Daddy’s home!” Her favorite activity is Music Together class, and she says, “Teacher Donna” (her Music Together teacher) at least a dozen times a day. She requests the music from her class whenever we’re in the car, and her favorite Music Together songs are the “Hello” song and “Wiggle, Wiggle.” I loved it this morning on the drive to preschool as we were listening to the CD and Emma said, “Lily! It’s your favorite song…Wiggle! Wiggle!” Emma is so excited to do extra jobs around the house to pay for the birthday gift she picked out for Lily, a flannel board. They are starting to play together even more as sisters, and it makes me so happy to see their bond. Lily is often watching Emma to see just how she can be a big girl, too. They still have their moments of frustration, but I know they learn a lot from their interactions with each other.

 

Lily enjoys music in general and often has song requests if we have dance parties at night. Her favorite is still “Happy Birthday,” though she also knows many of the words to songs from the movie Tangled since Emma listens to the music. Lily has a special bond with my parents and can’t wait to see “Papa” (Grandpa) on their weekly visits. If I ask her if she’s my girl, she says, “No. Grandma’s girl,” with an impish grin. She will plop on the lap of a few of my good friends. She loves to be noticed as silly and fun, and she will say, “Look, Mama! Look, Mama! Silly,” as she balances precariously on something or sticks a carrot on her nose. When we leave a fun activity like the park or a friend’s house, she says, “Fun! Fun!” She loves life and the people in her life, and it makes her so much fun to be around. She recharges from all of that fun by sleeping nearly twelve hours at night and taking a two hour nap in the afternoon. I am grateful that her sleep habits have greatly improved, as it gives both of us more energy to keep up with her during the day. And in the ten hours that she is awake, she squeezes in a whole lot of living.

  

Lily is truly a gift in our lives. Conant and I talk about her cuteness, her sweetness, her bravery, and how she has our hearts often. I am beyond blessed to be her mother. I thank God for giving me the past two years with her, and I pray for wisdom that I can encourage her sweet spirit and her sense of fun while still teaching her to make good choices in the years to come. I will forever be grateful that I have been given the chance to snuggle her goodnight each night and pour my mother’s heart into her life. And so, I have to end with a song she knows well by now, the song that I sing to her each night as she snuggles in with her thumb in her mouth and an expression of peaceful contentment: “Thank you, God, for Lily, for Lily, for Lily. Thank you, God, for Lily. We’re glad she is here.”

 

Freeze the Moment

It’s been an exciting and busy past month, so I have a lot of catching up to do. I’m just going to give the highlights of some memories we made: We had an incredible time enjoying my parents’ farm. The girls got to feed a baby calf, plant onions in the garden, and fly a kite for the first time. The girls enjoyed their time with Conant’s parents. They had lots of stories read to them and were proud to show Nainai and Yehyeh their rooms, their toys, and their sweet personalities. We even spent some time with my parents, and it was fun to see so much love in one room, all directed toward the girls. With two parents and four grandparents that adore them, there was no shortage of attention or affection.

 

We had a wonderful time celebrating Easter and hosting my whole family and Conant's parents for an egg hunt and meal. While we had company, Lily had several nights where she struggled to stay in her big girl bed, but now she is back on track and adorable in it, snuggling with her doll and her SleepSacks, which she uses like blankets. She has also started to read me parts of Goodnight Moon and sing me the ”Thank You God for Lily” song that I sing her each night. Emma got her first big girl bike yesterday. She is extremely determined to learn how to ride and is practicing at every opportunity. I am proud of how hard she is working to accomplish her goal. She was inspired to learn when she saw her preschool classmates confidently riding their bikes (with training wheels) at a party on Friday. She also continues to do a terrific job at putting away all of her laundry, clearing her dishes, and reminding us of each step of our routine if we forget. Though it rained so much in April that we thought we’d float away, the girls continued to be sunshine, and I can say that now especially after my wonderful hubby played with them and cleaned the house while I had a luxurious Saturday afternoon going to lunch and a movie with friends. I tend to forgot how reviving it is to have some “me” time until I get it. Everything seems lighter and happier now, and I bring so much more joy to my mothering. It’s been a busy month but a good one, and today I am enjoying my last day as a mother to a one-year-old. I am savoring every moment, and she made sure that I got a few extra by waking up an hour early this morning. With a smile like hers, kisses planted firmly on my cheek, and my newly revived perspective on life, I am able to smile even as I want to freeze the moment for a minute: a proud four-year-old learning a new skill, a sweet one-year-old with such affection and adoration for her mommy, and a hubby who knows that the way to this woman’s heart is to be a loving daddy that leaves the house cleaner than when I left it. I am truly blessed.

Our Little One's Big Reveal

I have long been planning a big girl room as a surprise for Lily Rebecca’s second birthday. She must like to get her birthday presents early, because recently, when I was literally gone to pick up her mattress from the store, she climbed out of her crib. For the first time this year, I had put her down for a nap without her SleepSack because it was such a warm day. Luckily, she wasn’t badly hurt. Conant heard the big boom, hurried in, calmed her down, and gave her sufficient sympathy for the scrape on her ankle. Ever since then, she proudly shows off her aforementioned ankle and the slowly healing scab. If asked, she likes to tell you that what happened was “BOOM!” We vowed to put her in a SleepSack and regulate the house temperature accordingly until her second birthday party to make sure she didn’t launch over her crib again. Then, this week, she learned to unzip her SleepSack, causing me to lose sleep as I worried about her more easily climbing out of the crib like she did on the none-too-soon mattress shopping day. So, yesterday, we decided to do her big girl room a few weeks early. I bustled into action, hauling the two girls to a couple of stores last night for last minute supplies in the winter-like temperatures and gusty winds while Conant was at work. They were great sports, and Emma was excited for her sister’s surprise. After we got home and did our supper, bath, and bedtime routine, I started painting for Lily’s art line. This morning, the girls woke up early. I brought them downstairs, got them fed, left Lily safely buckled in her highchair, and rushed back up to her room to start cleaning it out. After a bit, I got her down to play and waited until Conant could play with them. Then I eagerly headed back to work. Later in the morning, Conant and my dad helped with the transition. We took everything off the walls and hung her name, arranged a nature mural on the wall, put up pictures, added the art line, placed a bow holder, and put in the adorable dollhouse bookcase that Grandpa built for her second birthday. I made up the bed in Love and Nature bedding. I decided to do a Love and Nature theme because Lily absolutely loves to be outside. I wanted to bring the outdoors in, especially since the winter months keep her inside more than she would like. For now, we left the mattress on the ground in case she rolls out while she is still so small. My family made the day extra-special. My parents came a couple of hours before the reveal. My mom watched the girls to ensure it stayed a surprise, and my dad pitched in with his tools and handiness. Conant used his incredible artistic eye to help me plan and place things and his engineering talents to make sure everything was safe and secure. My brother, sister-in-law, and niece came in time to see the reveal and capture it on video. They are also some of Lily’s biggest fans. It was so nice to have us all there as she ceremonially made the transition to a big girl. We worked hard and quickly, skipping lunch and forging through in order to get Lily in her bed by naptime. I felt a little like we were on a mini-makeover show…a deadline, a goal, and a hope of making someone’s dream come true. When Lily saw her room, she took it all in, smiled, giggled, and flopped happily onto her bed. She was really glad to see the pictures she had colored hung on the art line, to find her books neatly placed on the bookshelf Grandpa made and Daddy and Mommy painted with love, and to share the excitement with those she loves. Emma was so excited for her little sis that she ran over to Lily and gave her a big hug.

  

Before her nap, I used the dollhouse to show her how the big girl stays in bed until the mommy comes to get her. She napped over two hours in her big girl bed this afternoon and stayed in her bed the whole time. When she woke, she called, "Mommy, uppa (up)." Tonight, she went right to sleep, snuggled in her very own bed. My brother asked me how I felt about her growing up. I have to admit that as I put her in the crib one final time last night and saw her in there for the last time this morning, there was definitely some nostalgia.

 

We have been a crib family for over four years, and there is something uniquely sweet about that baby love. However, I am so grateful that I get to see her grow, witness her milestones, and parent her through each stage. Being a parent is a lot of work and sacrifice, but when you see your child’s pride in growing up and her joy at something as simple as a newly decorated bedroom, it is beyond priceless. I am so thankful that I have been given Lily to raise and very grateful that we can give her a big girl bedroom to love.

The Muck of Motherhood

Though there’s much to be said of the positive, priceless, and precious moments of motherhood, it wouldn’t be authentic to overlook the tough moments, the tired days, and the tantrums that make this job really, really hard at times. If my girls choose to become mothers someday, I don’t want them to look back at all of my sweet memories of them and think that somehow they are doing something wrong as a mom to have days where they want to scream, cry, or vacation in the tropics for an afternoon or a week. I want them to know that the reality of mothering for me was blissful moments and bountiful love wrapped up in days that weren’t picture perfect.

So, below, I list the top eleven challenges of motherhood for me (ten just wasn't enough), the muck of motherhood so to speak. I want to add the disclaimer that I wanted to be a mom more than anything, that I will forever be incredibly grateful for the sweet girls that I have been given, and that I do not take for granted the gift that they are. That having been said, let the grumbling begin.

1. Groundhog Day—Have you seen the movie? To me, it was painful to watch, waking up to the annoying sameness of every day. Though I am so glad to be home with my girls, there are many days that feel like Groundhog Day…the same lengthy process to get us out the door in the morning, the same daily routine, the same walls that I stare at day after day, the same dishes that I wash again and again, the same lingering thought that I used to influence many lives instead of two. Even shuttling children to preschool and activities seems to take on the same feel. Though I am thankful for the precious car conversations that occur on our really good days, the next greatest excitement is whether I will hit green lights more often than red. I wouldn’t change what I do and am so fortunate for our health and happiness, but the sameness of life, the monotony of motherhood is probably my greatest challenge. I have called it being understimulated before, and I think that sums it up for me. Lately, with a hubby who is working hard for our family days, nights, and weekends, the sameness seems to creep in even more, without that TGIF feeling to help break it up. Add in a long midwestern winter and the illness and extra time at home that that entails, and you have a formula for my growing restlessness.
2. Losing Myself—It is a challenge for me as a mother not to lose myself in my children, in my hope to give everything that I can to them but still retain some of me. I am happy to sacrifice but sometimes find myself wondering where I went and whether I will find out when I am not so needed by them someday.
3. Moodiness—Though there is much sameness, dealing with the moods of a toddler, a preschooler, and sometimes even myself is anything but predictable. It is hard to understand the anguish a child feels when the syrup is put on the wrong square inch of the plate, but it is impossible not to have it impact the calm…or lack thereof…in the family. Whining is a part of moodiness that could truly be its own number on this list. Somehow, whining seems to make them feel better, but listening to it makes me feel so much worse. My moodiness is typically in direct correlation to sleep deprivation, also a common concern for parents. Somehow, kids don't care what time you went to bed when they decide whether to wake at night and what time to get up in the morning. Sleep deprivation, too, could be a category onto itself, but I didn't want to have this list be taller than my toddler.
4. Sibling Strife—It is difficult to see two people that I love incredibly and equally cause each other pain. They both want to play with the same toy, among the dozens of toys available, but they can’t agree on how to play with it. They both want my attention at the exact same moment, and I can’t figure out how to split myself in two. Sure, they are learning important life skills like sharing and patience, but in the meantime, I am subjected to screams, cries, time outs, redirecting, reteaching, and relationship repair with people that both started microscopic in my womb and take up an equally enormous part of my heart.
5. The Reclean—It is incredible how many times I mop, pick up, scrub toilets, wipe down the table (not in that order ;-P), and generally clean our home, and yet it always seems to have that lived in look within minutes. As I finish cleaning the floors, I realize that it has been so quiet during my cleaning because there is now Playdoh mashed into my newly cleaned floor, starting the cycle once again. Laundry is the same…I can do four loads and still somehow have a pile forming before it is all folded and put away.
6. Mealtime Mayhem—Until you are a parent, I don’t think you can fully appreciate the amount of time that is devoted to feeding little mouths. There is the perusing for recipes, the planning, the purchasing, and the prepping. Then there is the cooking, the filling of plates, the refilling of plates, the teaching of table manners, and the calming that occurs when a child’s hopes are not met. Finally, there is the cleanup of the dishes, the table, the children, the floor, and the bad attitude that not often, but occasionally creeps in with the realization that this will all start again shortly.
7. Potty Time—When your child is in diapers, your big goal is potty training / learning. Then you train, and you realize that the potty holds its own control over your life. Whether you are at a store, in the car, or restfully sleeping in the middle of the night, urgent potty needs in your children turn into urgent mommying time for you. Potty needs know no boundaries of location, convenience, or time of day or night. I won’t even go into cleanup or toddler meltdowns over the whole process…if you’ve been there, you know.
8. Discipline Dilemmas—I am fortunate to typically agree with my hubby on most discipline issues, but both of us would say that is because I am the one who is here the vast majority of the time. Discipline can be a hot topic. The fact is, no matter how many books I read, what I never suspected when I was a child myself is that my parents weren’t 100% certain that they were doing the right thing with me. Raising children is part good intentions, part science experiment. The variables are each of my children’s personalities and the kind of day everyone is having. The control is hopefully mine, shared with them in ways that are affirming and growing opportunities while still leaving me in charge.
9. Just When You Think…--There are brief seconds in parenting when I think I have my children figured out, my parenting stance down, and our schedule mastered. Then, my children change, our schedule changes, my viewpoint changes, and I get to start again, knowing how much I don’t know while understanding how much I care. Since my kids mean the world to me, I would do anything to do it right, but that doesn’t mean I do it right every time, and that’s tough to accept.
10. The To Don’t List—There are so many things on my list that I don’t get to because of lack of time or lack of energy when the time comes to finally put the kids to bed. This can be challenging for someone who wants to achieve but doesn’t want to do it at the expense of the kids. Also on the “to don’t” list are typically self-care activities, things that I used to do for myself but can’t anymore because time and resources tend to go to the little lives that I cherish even more than my own. I have some friends that have learned to balance this well, and I admire that skill, as it probably helps them bring even more to the table as a mom. I have not yet arrived in this area. Though there are some wonderfully replenishing things I do for myself as a mom, like go to book club every six weeks, there are many “to don’ts” when you are a parent, as well. Though that putting aside of my needs often comes naturally, it can catch up with me.
11. Sick Days--Motherhood monotony is my biggest daily challenge, but I think that the toughest single thing in motherhood is seeing my kids sick or hurt. Though I would absolutley rather I get sick than my kids, this is not really a choice, so like other mothers, I sadly watch as they suffer, and I think that I might hurt more than they do. Also challenging is the fact that I tend to get worn down caring for them, but then, like other parents, I don't get sick days to recover. Even when I feel lousy, I have two people who need me for almost everything, and that is, as E used to say as a toddler, a "tough one." When I do get really sick, I weakly plead for their sympathy and compliance. E is getting old enough to actually give it, and L gives me sweet kisses and then goes back to being an active toddler. I am extremely thankful that my kids and I are healthy overall, but those times that we do get sick are painful for all of us.


As I look at my list of complaints, and they truly are challenges that I have throughout this journey of motherhood, I am also struck by the following:

1. Groundhog Day--How fortunate I am to be able to give my children a stable childhood that is predictable.
2. Losing Myself--How much of a gift it is that I have been given little ones that I truly care about more than myself, that all of my efforts to try not to be selfish throughout life can be put to rest in this one area, as a selflessness comes so much more naturally when I think about my children.
3. Sibling Strife--How fantastic that my girls have each other and see each other as unconditionally loving, that they can let down their guard with each other and learn how to relate to another human being by practicing together.
4. Moodiness--How blessed I am to be here when they are having a hard time, to guide them through their moods, with teachable moments and hugs.
5. The Reclean--How truly grateful I am that I have a house to clean and they have toys with which to make a mess.
6. Mealtime Mayhem--How deliciously sweet that we have healthy meals three times a day and snacks interspersed, that my children are becoming more and more pleasant to eat with, and that their bellies are satisfied throughout each day.
7. Potty Time--How amazing it is that we have plumbing in our home, in stores all around town, and even a portable potty in our minivan to meet the sanitary needs that come with a healthy child that has learned a new skill and has even started to take herself to the bathroom during the night in the past few weeks.
8. Discipline Dilemmas--How thankful I am that I was raised in a way that gives me a model for wanting to do things right as a parent and have been taught about grace for forgiving myself when I don’t do it perfectly.
9. Just When You Think…--How precious it is that my children are continuing to develop and are not stuck in one phase of childhood, that they are growing into what I hope will be happy, healthy adults.
10. The To-Don’t List--How priceless that my life is so full of moments with my children that I will still have memories to smile at long after my office is finally organized and my professional goals are reached.
11. Sick Days--How perfect that I am able to be here with them when they need me most, when they are feeling especially vulnerable, when no one comforts them like their mommy. For this privilege, I am very grateful, and I am willing (if not eager) to catch the germs that come my way.

So, though I will say that I have many moments of mommy fatigue, especially lately when the monotony has grown for me, if my girls decide to become mothers themselves someday, I will tell them that I would do it all again in a heartbeat. There is nothing that can prepare you for the sacrifice of motherhood, but there is something about motherhood that makes you acutely aware that molding lives is more gift than sacrifice after all.

Princess for a Day...or Two

Well, the Rapunzel Tangled party won out. And as long as it won out, I wanted to go all out. This is the year when Emma Grace is old enough to feel about birthdays as I did as a child...counting down to the big day with baited breath (and then taking it a step further than I did and beginning to count down to her next birthday the day after the festivities were over.) Emma's fourth birthday began with her preschool teacher and preschool Spanish teacher making a very big deal of her birthday. She felt like a star and was able to wear a crown, be sung to a couple of times, and share a treat with the class. I spent the whole morning at preschool with her while Grandpa and Grandma graciously watched Lily.

 

In the afternoon, we had a few close friends over to celebrate. It was Emma's first birthday party with friends, and she really enjoyed getting to listen to princess stories with friends,

 

having each of them decorate their own crowns,

 

color Rapunzel, race through a tunnel like in the Tangled movie, do a Rapunzel beanbag toss, dress up like princesses,

 

have a dance party, play instruments as the royal band, eat some of Emma's favorite foods, and feast on cupcakes and ice cream. Decorations included balloons, a "Happy Birthday" banner, paper lanterns like in the movie, a Rapunzel tablecloth and paper goods, a banner with pictures of Emma every four months from newborn to almost four,

 

and long blonde hair with pictures of Emma measuring up at the apple orchard the past four years with a caption entitled "Four Years of Being Tangled Up in Life, Love, and Laughter. Q: What has grown even faster than Rapunzel's hair? A: Emma and our love for her." My parents were troopers and spent quite a while with me braiding “Rapunzel’s hair” for our front door.

 

I got this idea at www.supermommoments.com. Though the braid took her ten minutes, we worked on it for a good hour…guess that confirms my hunch that I am a mere mortal and certainly not supermom. I also saw the cutest boats there and decided to add orange boats to the plate of princess wand fruit kabobs. I got the fruit kabob idea from Emma’s friend’s birthday.

 

Though a few of the ideas were mine (games, decorations, activities, and picture banner), I am grateful to the many more creative moms than me who shared theirs. For the little siblings at the party, we had a Little People palace out and a sign asking them to “Play at the Palace.” We also had building blocks with a sign saying “Build Rapunzel’s Tower.” For our family party a few days later, we had brunch and enjoyed time with some of our favorite people. Emma woke up that morning joyfully proclaiming, “I’m four again! I was four yesterday, and I’m four again today!” Emma’s uncle surprised her by wearing his number 4 Green Bay Packer jersey for her fourth birthday. The back even had her name rather than a former Packer's. As Emma finished lunch, she looked at her daddy and me and said, “Thank you so much, Mommy and Daddy, for making this delicious meal for my birthday!” That was one of those parenting moments that left us in minor shock and made all of the work so worth it…total appreciation in front of the entire family!

    

I had fun planning around a theme and reminiscing about Emma's four years. Drawing on sentimental memories from my own childhood, I borrowed the cakestand my mom used when I was little and decided to make Emma the cake that was my favorite as a little girl: a doll cake. My mom is an excellent cake decorator. I, on the other hand, am an amateur cake decorator. Two days before her birthday, Emma informed me that she really wanted cupcakes for her birthday rather than a cake. For a day, I thought that I was off the hook. I would just create a tower of cupcakes, in keeping with the Rapunzel theme. The next day, though, the allure of challenge and nostalgia came back, and I decided to create both the tower of cupcakes and a surprise Rapunzel doll cake. Thankfully, Emma loved her cupcakes and was sweetly surprised by her Rapunzel cake. I enjoyed creating something for Emma that had meant so much to me as a child.

 

As Emma turned four, I had a realization that was even more exciting than all of the festivities. As people asked me, "Can you believe that your baby is four?,” the standard answer of "No, time flies" just didn't seem to fit. Instead, I absolutely could believe it because I have been fortunate to be there for almost every moment of her four years. For her birthday, she got to be princess for a day or two, but I have gotten to be with her most of the moments of her life. Though being at home is no perfect fairytale and certainly isn't possible or ideal for everyone, I feel like I have been richly blessed with moments and memories through the past four years that have been royally special. And, since I am the four-year-old princess' mom, I guess that makes me a laundry doing, mom’s taxi driving, meal making, house cleaning, story reading, character developing, birthday planning, rule enforcing, cheerleading, schedule keeping, hug giving queen.

Sweet Surprise

Tonight as we were playing Hide and Seek, I realized with surprise that 21 ½ month old Lily was counting for me. Without me actively teaching her, she learned to count one to ten with surprising accuracy. Though she sometimes needs prompting on a number or two, she can do it, especially confidently proclaiming 9 and 10. The incredible thing about birth order is how much she absorbs by watching and trying to keep up with everyone else in the family. When we play hide and seek, she squeals, hides her head under a pillow, and evidently learns to count from one to ten while she waits. And as she is absorbing new things, Lily continues to be such a ball of energy and sweetness. She climbs up everything as if there isn’t a square inch that she can’t conquer. She runs into the room with a smile and a “hi, mama!” that causes me to grin right back at her. She has started to read small parts of books when I get to a word or short phrase she knows well. She loves to color and sometimes likes to say the names of letters as she draws, pretending she is writing. As is common in the toddler years, her learning is exploding, and it is such fun to watch. She is asserting her independence and wishing for input into her own life. If I offer her the pink bib, she earnestly requests, “blue bib, blue bib.” If I offer the blue bib, she wants the pink one. If I hold both of them up, she beams and reaches for the one she wants. She loves to pick out her diaper and her clothes. While she is growing and changing every day, some things remain constant. She adores Grandma and Papa, as she calls him, and if she knows they’re coming at any point in the day, she will run to the door and say, “Watch! Watch! Grandma and Papa” as she waits for their minivan to pull in the driveway. When they arrive, she squeals and runs around the room. I love her bond with them. Sometimes Lily does get frustrated at the limitations that come with age (or, rather, lack of age.) When she is too rough with big sister’s toys and I redirect her, she is crushed, devastated. She is typically a quick one to recover, though, and though tears may stay planted firmly on her face, she is soon smiling again. She loves to say silly words like “acky!” and burst into laughter. My favorite moments in parenting continue to be those like tonight, when both girls were running around the living room, giggling together and with me about nothing and everything. All in all, Lily has such joy for life, and watching her learn is such joy in mine. I love the sweet surprise of how much someone so little can enjoy life, how much she learns from simply living it, and how brilliantly she brightens the lives of those around her.

Four Days Until Four

For weeks now, Emma has been looking forward to our new morning ritual, removing one link from the paper chain in the kitchen that denotes the number of days until her birthday. She is incredibly excited to turn four, to join some of her preschool classmates in being a really big kid, to celebrate with friends and family with a much-awaited birthday cake. As she looks back at her fourth birthday, I don’t know if she will remember a single detail, but kids are good at living in the moment, and Emma is enjoying every moment of the anticipation of her big day. As I plan for her birthday, I also want to plan for the future…when Emma and I will have a fuzzier recollection of what she was like as an almost four-year-old. So, today, with four days until four, I plan to tell her a little bit about her:

 

My Sweet Emma Grace, 

 • You have a very active imagination. Each morning, you like to declare the character you will be today. If it is Plum Pudding from Strawberry Shortcake, you will dress in purple, color in purple, eat from a purple bowl, and generally stick to your theme with a dedication that would make Hasbro (the maker of Strawberry Shortcake) proud. If you are Strawberry Shortcake, you pretend to set up your own Berry Café in your room, request strawberries for snack, and incorporate the theme in a way that would make any elementary school teacher admire the thematic unit that you have created for yourself. Today, you are Rapunzel. You sing her songs, dress in a fancy dress, and comment again and again about how your hair is growing longer like hers. I love your creativity, your conviction, and the twinkle in your eye as you know that your pretending is a magical world that you are composing for yourself. • You have a sensitive heart. Even though I broke my toe over two months ago, you still ask how it’s feeling almost daily, inquiring if it is all better yet. If Daddy is working late and I’m trying to get dinner ready, you help clean up the family room and tell me not to worry. The other day, I was busy, and Lily was crying hard. You started singing her a song about her name, and it made me feel so happy to see you encourage your sister. • You also cry often from hurt feelings and bumps and bruises. Your sensitivity is something that gives us plenty of smiles, but it is also tough to see you cry and have a hard time so many times each day. We talk a lot about using your words, and when you do, you are very articulate. You will say something like, "Lily is destroying my beautiful Berry Cafe. She is wreaking havoc, Mommy." Lately, you have had a difficult time whenever you need to be apart from me…mostly when you first have to separate at church or sometimes preschool drop off or even at home if I am working on something and you are supposed to stay with Daddy and Lily. You say, “I just love you so much, Mommy.” You definitely have a strong bond with me, and I am so grateful for that, but I also want to encourage you to be brave in the world so that you might find the joys that happen when you are away from me. • Preschool continues to be a really positive place for you. You tell me about what the other kids do, what you have for snack, and sometimes what your teachers say. You are proud to have a life of your own there, and I am proud of how you are growing. • You are opinionated and not afraid to tell the people that are closest to you what you think. We are working on you consistently doing this in a polite way. Often you do, but it is something we will continue to practice as you become a “really big kid.” • You are so happy when you accomplish something that is tough, saying, “I did it…all by myself!,” but you also get frustrated pretty quickly when something is hard. I am sure it is difficult sometimes to be a preschool aged kid with so many new things to accomplish all of the time. • You love to play Hide and Seek and will play for as long as Daddy, Lily, and I will hide and look for you. You are cute about telling us where you are soon after you hide or sometimes hiding right in front of us before we have even closed our eyes. You squeal and giggle when you are found. • About a month ago, you started dressing yourself in the morning. Though, like most preschoolers, this makes for some interesting outfit combinations, you are proud of your newfound independence, and I love how you are able to help us get out the door in the morning. • You are a creature of habit and conscious of our family rules, requesting fruit for your afternoon snack, as you know this is our routine. You remind Grandma that you only get one treat a day, even when she hopes to spoil you with a little more. • You still love to read and enjoy your books very much. You also like to color and recently drew a fantastic self-portrait. Up until now, it’s been a bit tougher for you to draw and you often didn’t want to try to draw anything in particular, but on Valentine’s, day, you drew your face so well.

 

 

You are also getting better and better at writing your name. You still color quickly and prefer not to have to worry about staying in the lines, but you color with joy. • We play a Goldfish Game to strengthen your eye muscles, and you absolutely love it. You can’t wait to have us say, “Look at the Goldfish.” • You love to play with Lily sometimes and giggle and run with her. Other times, it’s tough to have a little sister who knocks over your things when she’s trying to play with you. Still, if you are away from Lily, you say you miss her. She gets excited to pick you up at school after she’s been away from you three mornings a week. • You like to make people laugh and will make silly faces, say the opposite of what you mean, and in general try to get other people to giggle. • You are good at your letters and can tell what almost any word starts with when you hear it. You like to count forward and backward. You count by 10s to 100 and count by 1s to a different number depending upon the day…sometimes it is 60. • Your favorite characters right now are Strawberry Shortcake and friends, princesses, and fairies. You like to play with tiny toys with many pieces, and you keep track of them well. You also like your Barbie-sized dolls. • Each afternoon, you have quiet time in your room for about 45 minutes. You look forward to watching a half an hour movie after your quiet time. • You often request snacks and enjoy food very much. Nothing gets as big of a smile as when you hear that you are going to get to eat something that you consider extra yummy. You are not especially picky and eat healthily, though you do not like zucchini or tofu. You say that your favorite food is crackers. • You really look forward to your Mommy / Daughter and Daddy / Daughter dates. We take turns taking you out once a month, and we love this time as much as you do. This month is my month, and I plan to take you out to eat…I can already see your smiles. • You talk quite a bit. Our house is almost never silent unless you are sleeping, and I am grateful for your curious questions and cheerful chatter. • Like many kids your age, I do have to remind you not to whine pretty regularly. Sometimes you tell me, “I’m having a grumpy day.” Other times, you say, ‘I was just hungry” or “I’m tired.” You think about the reasons you’re having a hard time. • You also think more about your friends now that you’re getting bigger and mention other kids more. It’s fun to see you become more socially aware. • You have an incredible memory. You have known our address since last summer, but yesterday when I picked you up from preschool, I sang you our phone number a few times for the first time. Later that afternoon, you correctly recited it without having heard it again for hours. You remember songs, too, and can sing your favorite songs word for word, with incredibly correct intonation and feeling. • You are uniquely you, and I’ve never met another kid like you. You are such a precious part of our family. • You are my Emma Grace, and four years ago you were still nestled snugly inside of me. No matter how big you get, you will still fit snugly inside of your mommy’s heart. I love you, birthday girl. Happy Fourth Birthday!!!!