The Highlight Reel

Life has gotten busy, and among other things, spring (and now summer) cleaning has caused me to tackle some organizational projects in lieu of blogging. So now I find myself behind on recording memories that I hope to look back on one day. Therefore, this entry is going to be a highlight reel. May started with our sweet L turning two. We celebrated on her birthday with cake at lunch before Conant had to leave on a business trip that afternoon. At dinner, Emma, Lily, and I went out to eat with Grandpa and Grandma, Uncle Jason, Aunt Amanda, and Cousin Brynlee. We sang Happy Birthday at Lily’s birth time, and she loved every second of her special day. On Saturday, we had a family birthday with a love and nature / owl theme to coordinate with her big girl room.

 

Later in the month, Emma finished a fantastic preschool year. I was able to go and spend time with her on the last day, and it was fun to see her in her school element. She gained so much confidence this year. I am proud of her growth and grateful for her loving teachers.

 

With both girls being together full time again, we have had more moments of sibling rivalry, but also kindness. Emma has started to read to Lily more and also deliberately explain things to her: “Don’t worry, Lily. You think I’m going to eat it all, but I’m saving some for tomorrow, and I will give you some, too.” For Lily’s part, whenever she bumps into Emma, she says, “Sorry, EmEm,” and sometimes follows it with a hug. They play together more all of the time. At the end of May, we had family fun in Madison with an overnight trip. It was our best family (mini-)vacation yet. We went to the zoo. Grandpa and Grandma met us there and then took the girls to lunch while Conant and I had a quick lunch date. After, our family of four went to the hotel as Grandpa and Grandma headed home. The girls adored the swimming pool. They were so good at dinner, Trader Joe’s, and back at the hotel sleeping that night. After they fell asleep, Conant and I took turns going downstairs to work out. The next morning, we planned to go to the Farmer’s Market, but the girls had so much fun at the pool, we took them there again instead. They were fantastic at brunch, and we vowed to have more family fun again soon as we headed home. It is really nice that they are getting big enough to both walk, talk, and have memories of our good times together. I love babies and adore the toddler stage, but there’s something to be said for growing independence when we travel.

 

We’ve made many trips to Magic Waters, and the girls have a fantastic time taking on the kid water slides and splashing around. Emma even tried an adult tunnel slide with me. She said it was scary, but she didn’t cry. I was proud of her for trying it. Lily loves the froggy slide and goes down it again and again. Emma climbs up behind her and makes sure that she’s safe before Lily heads down it where I am waiting. I love to see them care about each other. Later in June, we headed to Pirate’s Cove in the suburbs for a day trip. It was another fun day. Lily started out very tentative but later tried many of the attractions, including the carousel, bounce house, train, and playground. We ate a picnic lunch on the pirate ship, and they both loved making crafts. Overall, it was a great day (in spite of a heart stopping moment when Lily fell off the kid-only carousel bench and the operators were changing over and didn’t see her tumble…yes, I was that mom who yelled, “Stop the carousel!” before she could hit the hard bricks below.) On an up note, my favorite moment of the day was when Emma proudly declared to some other kids in the bounce house, “That’s my sissy!”

 

Recently, we made a couple of trips to see Grandpa and Grandma while Conant had to travel for work. We had a great time on the farm and visiting Great-Grandpa and Great-Grandma W. and other family. I feel grateful that the girls have such warm and loving family members. We’ve also had great play dates with friends, taking advantage of our more flexible summer schedule. Emma has gone to gymnastics and ballet. Lily desperately wishes she were big enough to accompany Emma into her classes. Instead, we play as we watch through the window, and I try to be fun enough to make up for her little sister longings. When Conant arrived home from his most recent work trip, we met him at the bus station with signs reading D-A-D. The girls and I each decorated a letter, and we stood and waited for the bus in their nightgowns, as it was almost bedtime. Conant said they got lots of “awwws!” from other passengers on the bus when they pulled up. They were so excited to see Daddy, as was I!

 

Summer holds much sweetness, and we are thankful to share it with family, friends, and two of the sweetest girls we could imagine.

A Few Things I've Learned Along the Way

If my girls choose to have kids and they are fortunate enough to become mothers someday, I don’t want to be the kind of mom that’s always telling them what to do. I appreciate how my own mom gives me space to decide the kind of mom I want to be, and I’d like to pass this favor along to my girls. However, if they do ask for any bits of wisdom, something I’ve learned from my own mom is that it is hard to remember back to when your kids were small by the time they are in their thirties. So, I’ve decided to record a few things I’ve learned lately. Some of them were ideas I had because of problems I needed to solve, and some of them were great tips I learned from others. 1. 90% of the time, little ones put shoes on the wrong feet. You would think it would be a 50 / 50 chance, but it doesn’t seem to be at our house. I tried teaching Emma about holding up her hands to see which one made an “L” for “Left”, but it seemed to be too many steps when we’re trying to get out the door. Then, sandal season hit, and I decided to try something new. With a permanent marker, I put a dot or an X where her big toe should go on each sandal. Now putting on shoes is a breeze for her, and she no longer needs to ask me if she got it right as we’re rushing to get out the door. Even better, I don’t have to ask her to switch her shoes yet again. I dreaded that look of disappointment, and now we just have proud smiles. 2. With a four-year-old, the drive for independence is strong. Sometimes I don’t mind when this means mismatched outfits from her dressing herself, but other times, I want her to coordinate. Rather than this being a point of friction between us, I had her choose her outfit the night before to get approval. Even then, it seemed that we weren’t always on the same page as to what matched what. So together we gathered her clothes, and I asked her if she usually likes to pick her tops or bottoms first when she chooses her outfit. She said tops, so I took a digital picture of each of her tops with all of the bottoms that match it. For some tops, there was only one coordinating bottom. For others, there were many. She had fun with this process, trying to figure out why I chose each bottom. Then, I had the photos printed and put them in a little photo book that she can flip through as she plans her outfits. She is so proud that each outfit is already endorsed by mom so she can choose which one she wants. I have found that giving choices within boundaries keeps both of us happy. She satisfies her need for independence while still realizing that she has to respect her mommy. I think it’s a win-win.

 

3. With a two-year-old, the key also seems to be in giving choices. Even if Lily is in mid-two-year-old tantrum, if I ask her to make a decision, she can often be pulled out of it. She doesn’t want milk? I ask her if she wants it in the pink cup or the green cup. Sometimes, there is nothing that can be done to bring a two-year-old’s passionate cries to an end, but this works at least half of the time. Another thing that often works is asking her to help. If she is extremely reluctant to part with her SleepSack (blankie) to put it in the laundry, if I let her throw it in, she is much more willing. We adults like some sense of control, and so do our kids. 4. And now, for a tip that my own mom taught me. When cutting onions, no matter how many questions your kids ask, do not open your mouth to answer. Before, I always painfully teared up when I cut an onion, but now that I know to keep my mouth closed the entire time (no small feat for a talker like me!), no more tears. Thanks, Mom, for a tip worth passing along to your granddaughters. 5. Hiccup! The next tip is one I heard at my Mom to Mom group at church. If someone has hiccups, simply put water and a metal spoon in a glass glass. Then, have them drink from it while the metal spoon rests in the water. It has worked to rid Emma and me of our hiccups every single time. There is absolutely nothing I claim to be an expert on in parenting, but I figure that these are things that I might forget in a few decades when my own girls could be asking for advice. So here it is…if it happens to help any of my mom friends now, fantastic. I have learned many nuggets of motherly wisdom from my friends, so it’s about time that I returned the favor with a few tips that I can share. This motherhood journey is one of continuous learning, mistakes, improvisation, and hopefully improvement. I am so indebted to my own mom and mom friends. Thanks, ladies, for helping me be a better mom.

Two in May

Tomorrow, my baby turns two. I can hardly believe that two years have passed. She has truly made it easy to be her mother (with the exception of heavy sleep deprivation in the beginning.) ;-P Though my pregnancy with her was certainly not simple, she came into the world with very little fuss and a mere two hours of labor. Even as a baby, she tended to cry only when she needed something. As a one-year-old, she proved active and athletic, climbing and running with a smile on her face. She is affectionate and a mommy’s girl, but she also gives love to friends and family that she deems trustworthy, and her smile lights up a room. For the past month, she has been telling people that she will be “two in May,” something my mom taught her to say since I said I would be “two in March” as a one-year-old. At our house, turning two has a couple of new privileges. One is being able to watch a 30-minute DVD a day. I think she will be rather excited when she realizes that she has access to movies now, but knowing her, I will be surprised if she wants to sit still for more than three minutes to watch. That’s okay…I love to watch her busy little body move and explore. The other privilege, which I did not think was a big deal, is that the vitamins that Emma takes are for two years and up. Weeks ago, when Lily was pleading for one, I told her that she could have one when she turns two. She considered this for a moment, and made the connection to her birthday. Ever since then, she likes to tell me, “Lily birthday, two in May, jelly girl (Emma’s name for her vitamins) two in May, Emma jelly girl, Lily jelly girl.” Translated: “It’s almost Lily’s birthday. I will be two in May. I get a jelly girl like big sister Emma when I turn two in May. Could there be anything better?!” I love her excitement for something so small, and I am grateful that I get to spend enough time with her that I usually know what she is trying to communicate. She is hitting the age where she does not always follow my requests to pick up her toys. After a two minute time out, she eagerly runs to do what she was asked. It seems that she has to test that I mean it often, but after the time out, she can’t wait to comply, saying “Hurry! Hurry!” as she does what I asked in the first place. It takes everything in me not to smile. She also uses her climbing skills to reach the snacks of her choice in the pantry, and if we’re not looking, she’s smiling and saying, “Lily, cracker” as she happily munches her prize. We are working on this one, but she likes to smile and say, “Hungry a-geen” for “I was hungry again. What’s a girl to do?” Nevertheless, she does not like to get in trouble and cries when we tell her “no.”

 

She has the cutest manners, saying “Pwease” when she wants something and “Tank you. You’re welcome” when she’s trying to show gratitude. Big sister got a big girl bike yesterday, and fearless Lily likes to climb atop, stretch mightily to reach the pedals, and even get some forward movement. We put away the baby swing on the swingset, as she only wants to sit in the big swing. She no longer wants anything to do with her high chair. She says, “Sit at table. Sit at table” repeatedly until I acknowledge her request. Lily absolutely loves to color, and she is very proud of her artwork. She also loves to snuggle. Whenever it is cold or windy, she says, “Snuggle mommy. Snuggle mommy,” and she burrows into me for warmth. She likes to get a book or a stack of books (and sometimes a SleepSack and a doll) and climb in my bed. She says, “Snuggle Mommy. Mommy’s bed. Read books. Read books.” She is also passionate about being outside and cries when we have to come back in the house. She especially enjoys riding her little car, swinging, and running around the yard. Lately, when she swings, she wants to be pushed so high, begging, "Fastah! Fastah! Highah! Highah!) and then declaring, "I('m) a fah-ee (fairy)" when she gets super high and feels like she's flying. She has started to hold still long enough to plant wonderful, mommy melting kisses on my cheeks. She dances when she sees Conant and says, “Daddy’s home! Daddy’s home!” Her favorite activity is Music Together class, and she says, “Teacher Donna” (her Music Together teacher) at least a dozen times a day. She requests the music from her class whenever we’re in the car, and her favorite Music Together songs are the “Hello” song and “Wiggle, Wiggle.” I loved it this morning on the drive to preschool as we were listening to the CD and Emma said, “Lily! It’s your favorite song…Wiggle! Wiggle!” Emma is so excited to do extra jobs around the house to pay for the birthday gift she picked out for Lily, a flannel board. They are starting to play together even more as sisters, and it makes me so happy to see their bond. Lily is often watching Emma to see just how she can be a big girl, too. They still have their moments of frustration, but I know they learn a lot from their interactions with each other.

 

Lily enjoys music in general and often has song requests if we have dance parties at night. Her favorite is still “Happy Birthday,” though she also knows many of the words to songs from the movie Tangled since Emma listens to the music. Lily has a special bond with my parents and can’t wait to see “Papa” (Grandpa) on their weekly visits. If I ask her if she’s my girl, she says, “No. Grandma’s girl,” with an impish grin. She will plop on the lap of a few of my good friends. She loves to be noticed as silly and fun, and she will say, “Look, Mama! Look, Mama! Silly,” as she balances precariously on something or sticks a carrot on her nose. When we leave a fun activity like the park or a friend’s house, she says, “Fun! Fun!” She loves life and the people in her life, and it makes her so much fun to be around. She recharges from all of that fun by sleeping nearly twelve hours at night and taking a two hour nap in the afternoon. I am grateful that her sleep habits have greatly improved, as it gives both of us more energy to keep up with her during the day. And in the ten hours that she is awake, she squeezes in a whole lot of living.

  

Lily is truly a gift in our lives. Conant and I talk about her cuteness, her sweetness, her bravery, and how she has our hearts often. I am beyond blessed to be her mother. I thank God for giving me the past two years with her, and I pray for wisdom that I can encourage her sweet spirit and her sense of fun while still teaching her to make good choices in the years to come. I will forever be grateful that I have been given the chance to snuggle her goodnight each night and pour my mother’s heart into her life. And so, I have to end with a song she knows well by now, the song that I sing to her each night as she snuggles in with her thumb in her mouth and an expression of peaceful contentment: “Thank you, God, for Lily, for Lily, for Lily. Thank you, God, for Lily. We’re glad she is here.”

 

Freeze the Moment

It’s been an exciting and busy past month, so I have a lot of catching up to do. I’m just going to give the highlights of some memories we made: We had an incredible time enjoying my parents’ farm. The girls got to feed a baby calf, plant onions in the garden, and fly a kite for the first time. The girls enjoyed their time with Conant’s parents. They had lots of stories read to them and were proud to show Nainai and Yehyeh their rooms, their toys, and their sweet personalities. We even spent some time with my parents, and it was fun to see so much love in one room, all directed toward the girls. With two parents and four grandparents that adore them, there was no shortage of attention or affection.

 

We had a wonderful time celebrating Easter and hosting my whole family and Conant's parents for an egg hunt and meal. While we had company, Lily had several nights where she struggled to stay in her big girl bed, but now she is back on track and adorable in it, snuggling with her doll and her SleepSacks, which she uses like blankets. She has also started to read me parts of Goodnight Moon and sing me the ”Thank You God for Lily” song that I sing her each night. Emma got her first big girl bike yesterday. She is extremely determined to learn how to ride and is practicing at every opportunity. I am proud of how hard she is working to accomplish her goal. She was inspired to learn when she saw her preschool classmates confidently riding their bikes (with training wheels) at a party on Friday. She also continues to do a terrific job at putting away all of her laundry, clearing her dishes, and reminding us of each step of our routine if we forget. Though it rained so much in April that we thought we’d float away, the girls continued to be sunshine, and I can say that now especially after my wonderful hubby played with them and cleaned the house while I had a luxurious Saturday afternoon going to lunch and a movie with friends. I tend to forgot how reviving it is to have some “me” time until I get it. Everything seems lighter and happier now, and I bring so much more joy to my mothering. It’s been a busy month but a good one, and today I am enjoying my last day as a mother to a one-year-old. I am savoring every moment, and she made sure that I got a few extra by waking up an hour early this morning. With a smile like hers, kisses planted firmly on my cheek, and my newly revived perspective on life, I am able to smile even as I want to freeze the moment for a minute: a proud four-year-old learning a new skill, a sweet one-year-old with such affection and adoration for her mommy, and a hubby who knows that the way to this woman’s heart is to be a loving daddy that leaves the house cleaner than when I left it. I am truly blessed.

Our Little One's Big Reveal

I have long been planning a big girl room as a surprise for Lily Rebecca’s second birthday. She must like to get her birthday presents early, because recently, when I was literally gone to pick up her mattress from the store, she climbed out of her crib. For the first time this year, I had put her down for a nap without her SleepSack because it was such a warm day. Luckily, she wasn’t badly hurt. Conant heard the big boom, hurried in, calmed her down, and gave her sufficient sympathy for the scrape on her ankle. Ever since then, she proudly shows off her aforementioned ankle and the slowly healing scab. If asked, she likes to tell you that what happened was “BOOM!” We vowed to put her in a SleepSack and regulate the house temperature accordingly until her second birthday party to make sure she didn’t launch over her crib again. Then, this week, she learned to unzip her SleepSack, causing me to lose sleep as I worried about her more easily climbing out of the crib like she did on the none-too-soon mattress shopping day. So, yesterday, we decided to do her big girl room a few weeks early. I bustled into action, hauling the two girls to a couple of stores last night for last minute supplies in the winter-like temperatures and gusty winds while Conant was at work. They were great sports, and Emma was excited for her sister’s surprise. After we got home and did our supper, bath, and bedtime routine, I started painting for Lily’s art line. This morning, the girls woke up early. I brought them downstairs, got them fed, left Lily safely buckled in her highchair, and rushed back up to her room to start cleaning it out. After a bit, I got her down to play and waited until Conant could play with them. Then I eagerly headed back to work. Later in the morning, Conant and my dad helped with the transition. We took everything off the walls and hung her name, arranged a nature mural on the wall, put up pictures, added the art line, placed a bow holder, and put in the adorable dollhouse bookcase that Grandpa built for her second birthday. I made up the bed in Love and Nature bedding. I decided to do a Love and Nature theme because Lily absolutely loves to be outside. I wanted to bring the outdoors in, especially since the winter months keep her inside more than she would like. For now, we left the mattress on the ground in case she rolls out while she is still so small. My family made the day extra-special. My parents came a couple of hours before the reveal. My mom watched the girls to ensure it stayed a surprise, and my dad pitched in with his tools and handiness. Conant used his incredible artistic eye to help me plan and place things and his engineering talents to make sure everything was safe and secure. My brother, sister-in-law, and niece came in time to see the reveal and capture it on video. They are also some of Lily’s biggest fans. It was so nice to have us all there as she ceremonially made the transition to a big girl. We worked hard and quickly, skipping lunch and forging through in order to get Lily in her bed by naptime. I felt a little like we were on a mini-makeover show…a deadline, a goal, and a hope of making someone’s dream come true. When Lily saw her room, she took it all in, smiled, giggled, and flopped happily onto her bed. She was really glad to see the pictures she had colored hung on the art line, to find her books neatly placed on the bookshelf Grandpa made and Daddy and Mommy painted with love, and to share the excitement with those she loves. Emma was so excited for her little sis that she ran over to Lily and gave her a big hug.

  

Before her nap, I used the dollhouse to show her how the big girl stays in bed until the mommy comes to get her. She napped over two hours in her big girl bed this afternoon and stayed in her bed the whole time. When she woke, she called, "Mommy, uppa (up)." Tonight, she went right to sleep, snuggled in her very own bed. My brother asked me how I felt about her growing up. I have to admit that as I put her in the crib one final time last night and saw her in there for the last time this morning, there was definitely some nostalgia.

 

We have been a crib family for over four years, and there is something uniquely sweet about that baby love. However, I am so grateful that I get to see her grow, witness her milestones, and parent her through each stage. Being a parent is a lot of work and sacrifice, but when you see your child’s pride in growing up and her joy at something as simple as a newly decorated bedroom, it is beyond priceless. I am so thankful that I have been given Lily to raise and very grateful that we can give her a big girl bedroom to love.

The Muck of Motherhood

Though there’s much to be said of the positive, priceless, and precious moments of motherhood, it wouldn’t be authentic to overlook the tough moments, the tired days, and the tantrums that make this job really, really hard at times. If my girls choose to become mothers someday, I don’t want them to look back at all of my sweet memories of them and think that somehow they are doing something wrong as a mom to have days where they want to scream, cry, or vacation in the tropics for an afternoon or a week. I want them to know that the reality of mothering for me was blissful moments and bountiful love wrapped up in days that weren’t picture perfect.

So, below, I list the top eleven challenges of motherhood for me (ten just wasn't enough), the muck of motherhood so to speak. I want to add the disclaimer that I wanted to be a mom more than anything, that I will forever be incredibly grateful for the sweet girls that I have been given, and that I do not take for granted the gift that they are. That having been said, let the grumbling begin.

1. Groundhog Day—Have you seen the movie? To me, it was painful to watch, waking up to the annoying sameness of every day. Though I am so glad to be home with my girls, there are many days that feel like Groundhog Day…the same lengthy process to get us out the door in the morning, the same daily routine, the same walls that I stare at day after day, the same dishes that I wash again and again, the same lingering thought that I used to influence many lives instead of two. Even shuttling children to preschool and activities seems to take on the same feel. Though I am thankful for the precious car conversations that occur on our really good days, the next greatest excitement is whether I will hit green lights more often than red. I wouldn’t change what I do and am so fortunate for our health and happiness, but the sameness of life, the monotony of motherhood is probably my greatest challenge. I have called it being understimulated before, and I think that sums it up for me. Lately, with a hubby who is working hard for our family days, nights, and weekends, the sameness seems to creep in even more, without that TGIF feeling to help break it up. Add in a long midwestern winter and the illness and extra time at home that that entails, and you have a formula for my growing restlessness.
2. Losing Myself—It is a challenge for me as a mother not to lose myself in my children, in my hope to give everything that I can to them but still retain some of me. I am happy to sacrifice but sometimes find myself wondering where I went and whether I will find out when I am not so needed by them someday.
3. Moodiness—Though there is much sameness, dealing with the moods of a toddler, a preschooler, and sometimes even myself is anything but predictable. It is hard to understand the anguish a child feels when the syrup is put on the wrong square inch of the plate, but it is impossible not to have it impact the calm…or lack thereof…in the family. Whining is a part of moodiness that could truly be its own number on this list. Somehow, whining seems to make them feel better, but listening to it makes me feel so much worse. My moodiness is typically in direct correlation to sleep deprivation, also a common concern for parents. Somehow, kids don't care what time you went to bed when they decide whether to wake at night and what time to get up in the morning. Sleep deprivation, too, could be a category onto itself, but I didn't want to have this list be taller than my toddler.
4. Sibling Strife—It is difficult to see two people that I love incredibly and equally cause each other pain. They both want to play with the same toy, among the dozens of toys available, but they can’t agree on how to play with it. They both want my attention at the exact same moment, and I can’t figure out how to split myself in two. Sure, they are learning important life skills like sharing and patience, but in the meantime, I am subjected to screams, cries, time outs, redirecting, reteaching, and relationship repair with people that both started microscopic in my womb and take up an equally enormous part of my heart.
5. The Reclean—It is incredible how many times I mop, pick up, scrub toilets, wipe down the table (not in that order ;-P), and generally clean our home, and yet it always seems to have that lived in look within minutes. As I finish cleaning the floors, I realize that it has been so quiet during my cleaning because there is now Playdoh mashed into my newly cleaned floor, starting the cycle once again. Laundry is the same…I can do four loads and still somehow have a pile forming before it is all folded and put away.
6. Mealtime Mayhem—Until you are a parent, I don’t think you can fully appreciate the amount of time that is devoted to feeding little mouths. There is the perusing for recipes, the planning, the purchasing, and the prepping. Then there is the cooking, the filling of plates, the refilling of plates, the teaching of table manners, and the calming that occurs when a child’s hopes are not met. Finally, there is the cleanup of the dishes, the table, the children, the floor, and the bad attitude that not often, but occasionally creeps in with the realization that this will all start again shortly.
7. Potty Time—When your child is in diapers, your big goal is potty training / learning. Then you train, and you realize that the potty holds its own control over your life. Whether you are at a store, in the car, or restfully sleeping in the middle of the night, urgent potty needs in your children turn into urgent mommying time for you. Potty needs know no boundaries of location, convenience, or time of day or night. I won’t even go into cleanup or toddler meltdowns over the whole process…if you’ve been there, you know.
8. Discipline Dilemmas—I am fortunate to typically agree with my hubby on most discipline issues, but both of us would say that is because I am the one who is here the vast majority of the time. Discipline can be a hot topic. The fact is, no matter how many books I read, what I never suspected when I was a child myself is that my parents weren’t 100% certain that they were doing the right thing with me. Raising children is part good intentions, part science experiment. The variables are each of my children’s personalities and the kind of day everyone is having. The control is hopefully mine, shared with them in ways that are affirming and growing opportunities while still leaving me in charge.
9. Just When You Think…--There are brief seconds in parenting when I think I have my children figured out, my parenting stance down, and our schedule mastered. Then, my children change, our schedule changes, my viewpoint changes, and I get to start again, knowing how much I don’t know while understanding how much I care. Since my kids mean the world to me, I would do anything to do it right, but that doesn’t mean I do it right every time, and that’s tough to accept.
10. The To Don’t List—There are so many things on my list that I don’t get to because of lack of time or lack of energy when the time comes to finally put the kids to bed. This can be challenging for someone who wants to achieve but doesn’t want to do it at the expense of the kids. Also on the “to don’t” list are typically self-care activities, things that I used to do for myself but can’t anymore because time and resources tend to go to the little lives that I cherish even more than my own. I have some friends that have learned to balance this well, and I admire that skill, as it probably helps them bring even more to the table as a mom. I have not yet arrived in this area. Though there are some wonderfully replenishing things I do for myself as a mom, like go to book club every six weeks, there are many “to don’ts” when you are a parent, as well. Though that putting aside of my needs often comes naturally, it can catch up with me.
11. Sick Days--Motherhood monotony is my biggest daily challenge, but I think that the toughest single thing in motherhood is seeing my kids sick or hurt. Though I would absolutley rather I get sick than my kids, this is not really a choice, so like other mothers, I sadly watch as they suffer, and I think that I might hurt more than they do. Also challenging is the fact that I tend to get worn down caring for them, but then, like other parents, I don't get sick days to recover. Even when I feel lousy, I have two people who need me for almost everything, and that is, as E used to say as a toddler, a "tough one." When I do get really sick, I weakly plead for their sympathy and compliance. E is getting old enough to actually give it, and L gives me sweet kisses and then goes back to being an active toddler. I am extremely thankful that my kids and I are healthy overall, but those times that we do get sick are painful for all of us.


As I look at my list of complaints, and they truly are challenges that I have throughout this journey of motherhood, I am also struck by the following:

1. Groundhog Day--How fortunate I am to be able to give my children a stable childhood that is predictable.
2. Losing Myself--How much of a gift it is that I have been given little ones that I truly care about more than myself, that all of my efforts to try not to be selfish throughout life can be put to rest in this one area, as a selflessness comes so much more naturally when I think about my children.
3. Sibling Strife--How fantastic that my girls have each other and see each other as unconditionally loving, that they can let down their guard with each other and learn how to relate to another human being by practicing together.
4. Moodiness--How blessed I am to be here when they are having a hard time, to guide them through their moods, with teachable moments and hugs.
5. The Reclean--How truly grateful I am that I have a house to clean and they have toys with which to make a mess.
6. Mealtime Mayhem--How deliciously sweet that we have healthy meals three times a day and snacks interspersed, that my children are becoming more and more pleasant to eat with, and that their bellies are satisfied throughout each day.
7. Potty Time--How amazing it is that we have plumbing in our home, in stores all around town, and even a portable potty in our minivan to meet the sanitary needs that come with a healthy child that has learned a new skill and has even started to take herself to the bathroom during the night in the past few weeks.
8. Discipline Dilemmas--How thankful I am that I was raised in a way that gives me a model for wanting to do things right as a parent and have been taught about grace for forgiving myself when I don’t do it perfectly.
9. Just When You Think…--How precious it is that my children are continuing to develop and are not stuck in one phase of childhood, that they are growing into what I hope will be happy, healthy adults.
10. The To-Don’t List--How priceless that my life is so full of moments with my children that I will still have memories to smile at long after my office is finally organized and my professional goals are reached.
11. Sick Days--How perfect that I am able to be here with them when they need me most, when they are feeling especially vulnerable, when no one comforts them like their mommy. For this privilege, I am very grateful, and I am willing (if not eager) to catch the germs that come my way.

So, though I will say that I have many moments of mommy fatigue, especially lately when the monotony has grown for me, if my girls decide to become mothers themselves someday, I will tell them that I would do it all again in a heartbeat. There is nothing that can prepare you for the sacrifice of motherhood, but there is something about motherhood that makes you acutely aware that molding lives is more gift than sacrifice after all.

Princess for a Day...or Two

Well, the Rapunzel Tangled party won out. And as long as it won out, I wanted to go all out. This is the year when Emma Grace is old enough to feel about birthdays as I did as a child...counting down to the big day with baited breath (and then taking it a step further than I did and beginning to count down to her next birthday the day after the festivities were over.) Emma's fourth birthday began with her preschool teacher and preschool Spanish teacher making a very big deal of her birthday. She felt like a star and was able to wear a crown, be sung to a couple of times, and share a treat with the class. I spent the whole morning at preschool with her while Grandpa and Grandma graciously watched Lily.

 

In the afternoon, we had a few close friends over to celebrate. It was Emma's first birthday party with friends, and she really enjoyed getting to listen to princess stories with friends,

 

having each of them decorate their own crowns,

 

color Rapunzel, race through a tunnel like in the Tangled movie, do a Rapunzel beanbag toss, dress up like princesses,

 

have a dance party, play instruments as the royal band, eat some of Emma's favorite foods, and feast on cupcakes and ice cream. Decorations included balloons, a "Happy Birthday" banner, paper lanterns like in the movie, a Rapunzel tablecloth and paper goods, a banner with pictures of Emma every four months from newborn to almost four,

 

and long blonde hair with pictures of Emma measuring up at the apple orchard the past four years with a caption entitled "Four Years of Being Tangled Up in Life, Love, and Laughter. Q: What has grown even faster than Rapunzel's hair? A: Emma and our love for her." My parents were troopers and spent quite a while with me braiding “Rapunzel’s hair” for our front door.

 

I got this idea at www.supermommoments.com. Though the braid took her ten minutes, we worked on it for a good hour…guess that confirms my hunch that I am a mere mortal and certainly not supermom. I also saw the cutest boats there and decided to add orange boats to the plate of princess wand fruit kabobs. I got the fruit kabob idea from Emma’s friend’s birthday.

 

Though a few of the ideas were mine (games, decorations, activities, and picture banner), I am grateful to the many more creative moms than me who shared theirs. For the little siblings at the party, we had a Little People palace out and a sign asking them to “Play at the Palace.” We also had building blocks with a sign saying “Build Rapunzel’s Tower.” For our family party a few days later, we had brunch and enjoyed time with some of our favorite people. Emma woke up that morning joyfully proclaiming, “I’m four again! I was four yesterday, and I’m four again today!” Emma’s uncle surprised her by wearing his number 4 Green Bay Packer jersey for her fourth birthday. The back even had her name rather than a former Packer's. As Emma finished lunch, she looked at her daddy and me and said, “Thank you so much, Mommy and Daddy, for making this delicious meal for my birthday!” That was one of those parenting moments that left us in minor shock and made all of the work so worth it…total appreciation in front of the entire family!

    

I had fun planning around a theme and reminiscing about Emma's four years. Drawing on sentimental memories from my own childhood, I borrowed the cakestand my mom used when I was little and decided to make Emma the cake that was my favorite as a little girl: a doll cake. My mom is an excellent cake decorator. I, on the other hand, am an amateur cake decorator. Two days before her birthday, Emma informed me that she really wanted cupcakes for her birthday rather than a cake. For a day, I thought that I was off the hook. I would just create a tower of cupcakes, in keeping with the Rapunzel theme. The next day, though, the allure of challenge and nostalgia came back, and I decided to create both the tower of cupcakes and a surprise Rapunzel doll cake. Thankfully, Emma loved her cupcakes and was sweetly surprised by her Rapunzel cake. I enjoyed creating something for Emma that had meant so much to me as a child.

 

As Emma turned four, I had a realization that was even more exciting than all of the festivities. As people asked me, "Can you believe that your baby is four?,” the standard answer of "No, time flies" just didn't seem to fit. Instead, I absolutely could believe it because I have been fortunate to be there for almost every moment of her four years. For her birthday, she got to be princess for a day or two, but I have gotten to be with her most of the moments of her life. Though being at home is no perfect fairytale and certainly isn't possible or ideal for everyone, I feel like I have been richly blessed with moments and memories through the past four years that have been royally special. And, since I am the four-year-old princess' mom, I guess that makes me a laundry doing, mom’s taxi driving, meal making, house cleaning, story reading, character developing, birthday planning, rule enforcing, cheerleading, schedule keeping, hug giving queen.