Four Year Old Dreams: A Letter to Emma Grace

Today was a big day for you, Emma Grace. This morning, you had a Thanksgiving program at school, and you sang so well and confidently. Daddy, Lily, and I were really proud of you up there. Then, this afternoon, the day got even more memorable. You have been close to reading for a long time, but I have been so determined to keep your joy for books alive, to avoid frustration by not pushing you too soon, that I have been staying away from reading lessons. Today, we decided to try together, and you started to recognize sight words, sound out most of the other words, and read several early reader stories with a little help. You were so excited by your new skill. We are reading simple books together, but you are doing wonderfully, and I am so proud of you. Tonight, as I snuggled you before bed, I told you that even when you are Mommy’s age, you will always be my baby. You began to tell me of your dreams for the future. You said you will still live with me when you are in your thirties. I explained that Daddy and I don’t live with our parents anymore, and you likely won’t, either. I said you’d probably have your own house and could make your own decisions. As you thought about that, you told me what you think your life will look like. Below is a close approximation of the exact words you said. I thought you would enjoy looking back on this someday when you’ve lived a few decades and have seen how your life has begun to unfold. Here is what you said: I will have a boy, a girl, and another boy. (I asked you if you were having three kids.) You said, “Yes,” and then proceeded to describe them a bit. The one boy will have brown hair. The other boy will have blonde hair, and the girl will have, um, brown hair, too. I will live on a farm. (I asked you who would do all of the work.) You got a big smile and said, “I will have a husband.” (I then asked you if he would do all of the work, wondering if that is what you were implying with your smile.) You said, “No, I will help, too.” You told me more about your farm. I will have a pet. I will have a dog and a cat. I will have bales of hay down the hill and a weeder (you meant feeder :-)) for the birds with food in it. I will have geese. I will have cows, too. (Aside from the geese, you are describing Grandpa and Grandma’s farm, your four-year-old vision of a dream life. It will be fun to see if this is what you continue to want as you get older. As I listened to your hopes, I told you that it sounds like you will have a very busy house, filled with three kids and lots of animals. I said that I will love to visit you in your busy home.) I love you so much, my favorite four-year-old. I am proud of you for having new skills and big dreams. Often, things happen differently from our childhood plan. I wanted to name my kids “Kiki” and “Orgis” when I was your age. :-) Still, it’s great to have an imagination and a sense of hope for your future. You, my Emma, are beyond my wildest dreams. I am so thankful that no matter what my plan was when I was four, I got wonderful you. I couldn’t have dreamed big enough to know that I was going to get to be your mommy.

Remember Me?

About a month ago, I was struggling for energy, patience, and resiliency. I realized that, in trying to love my children well over the past nearly five years, I have often forgotten myself. I can’t really complain. I certainly know others that have it much worse than I do. Most of my self-neglect has been self-inflicted. I’ve read the same articles that everyone else has, reminding us to take care of us first. I’ve heard the warnings about putting on your own oxygen mask before assisting others. Still, my strong desire to be the best mom possible (which is still quite an imperfect mom anyway) had, after almost half a decade, left me without reserves to handle some of the everyday challenges involved with raising small children. I pray each morning to be the best wife and mother that I can be, but I finally recognized that I needed to remember to take care of me if I wanted to take care of those I love most. I talked it over with my husband, who was in complete agreement and support (very lucky me.) So, I decided to make some pledges to myself. I would begin to exercise regularly so that I had the energy to keep up with the kids. I know, I am making it about them again, but these are baby steps, and it truly is my deep desire to be all I can for them. I joined a local gym and started working out and going to classes. I think both psychologically and physiologically, this had dramatic effects. It said to me, “You are important enough to take care of you,” and it really did give me hugely increased energy levels and a sense of looking forward to both my time away from my family and subsequently my time with them. The gym even has treadmills with individual TVs…what could be more decadent to a mom of little ones? I did not begin the gym thing casually. I went every other night, taking classes that were labeled “intermediate” to “advanced.” My whole body ached the first week and a half, but my heart felt lighter. My husband has been incredible about increasing his responsibility with the kids in addition to his work responsibilities. He loves the results of a more content, alive, engaged me. I have to say, I love them, too. My next promise was to get more sleep. Honestly, I am still struggling with this one. I stay up too late at night given that I have to get the girls up and ready for Emma’s preschool in the morning. When I do get to bed early, I experience increased patience the next day. Still, it is hard to turn in early when I know that that is my me time or our couple time. This one is a work in progress. I also decided to cut myself some parenting slack. Potty training was making wonderful progress here, but then the progress stopped and regressed, and it was becoming too stressful on everyone. I gave myself permission to say that this is a developmental step, and we just aren’t there yet. Letting that one go for now made my days and my moods much less messy, and I’m pretty sure my two-year-old is happier now, too. Finally, I made the huge leap to say that it was okay to have fun without my children. This was tough, (it even looks rather ugly in print to me here), but it had huge pay offs. Conant was gone on a business trip and called home to tell me he needed to go on another one, to sunny California. I had had a rougher than usual week at home alone with the kids, culminating that night with an incredibly messy scene that required much clean up. I won’t go into details, but it was my breaking point. I told him I really didn’t want to be left again so soon. He invited me to go with him. I laughed. Then, my wheels started turning. We had a flight voucher. Here was a very inexpensive vacation at a nice hotel in California. We could add on a free night at another nice hotel with points, and we were a ten minute walk from Disneyland. My parents checked their schedules and generously agreed to give the girls their own vacation on the farm. I wrote a note to each girl for each morning, wrapped them up a small gift for each day (a craft, a game, or a snack so they knew we were thinking of them), and packed us up for our trips. Conant and I had an incredible time embarking on an adventure together. Though he had to work all but the last day, we had amazing meals together, walked on the beach, and experienced sunset over the ocean.

 

Disneyland was the perfect blend of no responsibility and enjoying one another’s company. It was such a gift to our marriage. Which, ironically, is a gift to the children we left behind. I felt so guilty thinking of going to Disneyland without our kids. Before I even met Conant, I had been to Disney in Florida, in France, and in Japan. I love the magic of Disney, but it was hard to think of going without the girls. Before we left, Emma asked, “Is there a Disney in California? Are you going there?” I nervously told her, “Yes,” but she simply replied with happiness for me. I am grateful for girls with such big hearts. From the moment I stepped on Disney grounds, I felt like skipping. I thought, “This really is the Happiest Place On Earth!” Ride after ride, princess after princess, parade float after parade float, I couldn’t help but smile. I was there, having an amazing time, with my best friend.

 

We took the first flight home Monday morning so that we could take our Supergirls out for Halloween at night.

 

Throughout the trip, I called them a few times a day, but on Monday, I couldn’t wait to get my arms around them. When I saw them for the first time in five days Monday afternoon, they both snuggled on my lap with their arms wrapped around my neck. In that moment, I realized that Disneyland was incredible, but MY “Happiest Place On Earth” was my very own living room, with those four sweet little arms hugging their mommy. I was recharged, refreshed, and filled with a renewed appreciation for all that I have been given. After embarking on my own “Remember Me?” campaign, I am more fit in body, mind, and spirit, and I am more grateful than ever for the little ones that bring love and laughter to our home and to this mom. Maybe there is something to that oxygen mask metaphor after all.0

     

Friday Family Fun

Today is Friday, and that means it’s almost time for “Friday Family Fun” at our house. Each Friday night, we have family game or movie night. We take turns being the person who picks the activity. Last week, Emma chose to play Animal Bingo. This week, Lily is up to pick, and she’s having fun keeping us all wondering what we will be doing tonight. Like many two-year-olds, she changes her mind every few minutes. It’s all part of the fun. I love that we have this time, not because I want to play Candy Land or watch Barney one more time, but because I am thrilled that the four of us look forward to hanging out together. I know that the years ahead will bring times when our kids will pick peer time over parent time, but I’m hoping that we can continue some version of “Friday Family Fun” for a long time to come. Along those same lines, I think forward to the years when our girls will date and hope to plan ahead so that they already have their attention, love, and acceptance tanks full and know how they should be treated (and how to treat others with kindness and respect.) Plus, I want each of them to have one-on-one time where they feel like they are so special that we can’t wait to spend time with each one of them. So, each month, we have Daddy / Daughter and Mommy / Daughter dates. Last month, I took Emma to the movie Winnie the Pooh and school supply shopping for our Mommy / Daughter date, and Conant took Lily to Monkey Joe’s bounce house for her first Daddy / Daughter date. Lily was so excited to be deemed big enough to start her dates, and she has talked about it for weeks after. It’s not just for the kids, either. I absolutely love my Mommy / Daughter dates, so grateful that I get a chance to enjoy each of my daughters for the unique, precious girls they were created to be…such a privilege to have special time to focus on each one of them. And the sheer number of pictures C took of Lily at Monkey Joe’s shows how proud he was of his cute little date.

 

All this talk of the girls growing has me ready to share the latest and greatest news at our house: we are almost diaperless. I adore babies, but I feel like I have washed enough diapers and wiped enough bottoms at this point, and I am so proud of Lily’s progress on the potty. I was inspired to train her by Emma, who got her to sit and go on the potty one day when they were pretend playing. A few days later, I started the effort to train her, deciding that if Emma could do it, I probably should, too. Potty training continues to be a task that stresses me out greatly, causing me to feel exhausted and defeated in the early days, but there have been high points, too. Lily loves when we sing her, “It’s My Potty, and I’ll Cry If I Want To” as she sits on the potty, and I can’t help but smile when Conant, Emma, Lily, and I all take turns singing our parts. Life with kids brings such different joys, but they are priceless ones, filled with celebration over poop landing in the right spot, songs that are rewritten to serve purposes like potty revelry, and cheers written for the sole purpose of motivating our kids to learn something new and make them smile while doing it. Lily has been doing so well, and while she was learning to use the potty, she also decided to start dressing herself. Although we have some unintended “Backwards Days,” she takes so much pride in “I do it” that it’s more celebration than sighs. The girls have continued to be great playmates. I love to watch them together and am glad that they play mostly harmoniously after a lot of bickering at the beginning of the summer. We have charts that we do each day, and Lily reminds herself to “Be kind and gentle” and Emma says things like, “I wasn’t having a cheerful attitude, was I?” It’s really helped them start to monitor their own behavior. Though they are still kids and I am definitely an imperfect mom, I am grateful to see how far they’ve come in showing consideration and generosity toward one another.

 

And though I admit to being a tired mama at least part of most days, I also feel like my cup overflows. The girls give me so many warm moments, and I thank God that I was given them to play with on “Friday Family Fun” nights, to take on Mommy / Daughter dates, to cheer on through milestones, and to see them become good buddies. Being a mom has so many highs, including the sound of a child’s glorious giggles and the sight of a triumphant face when a child accomplishes something for the first time. It also has its share of lows, like the sound of siblings screaming at each other over the same toy or the sight of a puddle forming on the floor. Today, I just wanted to step back from the ups and the downs and take a little time to record some of the ways we are enjoying the ride.

The Gift of Giving

Our church does a fantastic job of helping us in our goal to expand the girls’ local and worldview by highlighting needs in the community and globally. In the past year, Emma has worked hard on extra jobs around the house to earn money to help build a well in Africa and is currently trying to make money to help fix donated cars for people in need in our local community. I am grateful that we have a partner in trying to impress upon our kids that they have ways that they can help others even when they are little. We were on our way to church this past weekend, and Emma and I were thinking back to the need for clean water in Africa and then talking about people that don’t have cars to drive where we live, and how that can make it hard to get to work. She thought for a moment, and then, with all the purity of a four-year-old heart, said, “We have all the things, Mama.” She didn’t think about the 16-year-old TV that we just gave away or the 9-year-old TV with broken bunny ears that we still have. She didn’t wish for newer cars or a house with another bedroom. She simply saw that we have all the things we need. And she was right, we do have everyone and everything we need and more. And, in that moment, I saw the dual beauty in trying to raise generous givers. Not only do we hope to give the world two human beings who think of others in addition to themselves, but I also realized that with the help of our church, we are giving our daughters another gift. It is the ability to appreciate all that they have been generously blessed with, focusing on their own haves instead of have nots. And that is a gift that I deem priceless.

Sometimes You Just Have To Smile

We had the perfect morning. I stayed up too late last night getting some work done, and when I heard the first kid noises at 6-something this morning, I inwardly groaned. Then, amazingly, I rolled over and so did the little ones (in their own beds.) The next thing I knew, I woke up at 8:45 a.m. to silence and utter shock that a) I had slept that late and b) BOTH of my children had allowed me to on the same day. Emma has been waking up two hours before this morning’s rise and shine, and I have grown to expect it, but I was beyond thrilled at my luck. It was especially impressive when I discovered that there had been an extremely loud, turbulent storm while we all slept. We were supposed to go over to a good friend’s house for a play date, but she sent me a text that they had no power. We gladly had them over to our house, allowing us to not have to leave our house in our pjs to make it to theirs by 9:30 a.m. The kids and I both had a wonderful time with our friends, and by the time Conant came home to see us for lunch, I was practically flying from our morning. That’s when I made my big mistake…I told him, “I haven’t had a morning this easy in a long time. I slept in, we had a great time with good friends, and it’s been such a fun, relaxing day.” If you were watching a movie of my life, you would know that the other shoe was about to drop. And drop it did, though not in any horrible way. More in a slow, comical deterioration of the “easy” day I was quickly getting accustomed to after a few hours of bliss. It began as lunch was ending and Conant was headed out the door to a meeting. Typically, we eat brown rice. Today, as a special treat, we were eating white, sticky rice and vegetables for our lunch. Did I mention sticky? Now, I have to say that we have one very darling two-year-old, but she is two, and sometimes she exercises the right to act, well, her age. So, as lunch was finishing and my helpful hubby was headed out the door, she flung her still half-full plate under the table, sending small, very sticky, rice soldiers marching all around our kitchen. After making her “clean it up,” I began the real clean up, down on my hands and knees and crawling around like many parents of toddlers do after mealtime, though this time an extended version without the possibility of a broom or a vacuum to free those sticky guys from our tile floor. After I had gotten every last grain of rice, I vacuumed and mopped the floor for good measure. Next, I was really looking forward to getting some things done during nap time. Happily, Lily naps every afternoon, almost without fail. Well, given her late morning, she was not able to fall asleep. I took it in stride, knowing that the rare chance to sleep in was worth it. I continued through the day, realizing that our afternoon would seem longer without any down time, but feeling confident that I could handle whatever came my way after such a great night of sleep. So, some things came my way. First, Emma got out all of the ingredients to make homemade granola. I was impressed by her ambition and got off the phone with a friend to fully focus on our group baking session. Lily was wearing a brand new, white dress that had been a gift from Grandma and Grandpa, so I told her that she could only help if she wore an apron. At first, she refused, but then she let me put it on her. We began, me fully in the moment, off the phone, and enjoying baking with my girls. Again, the unpredictable twos struck. Lily grabbed the measuring cup that had Canola oil still in the bottom and, tilting her head back to try and get a taste, dumped it on top of her head. It just so happened that right before she did this, she ripped off her apron. Her new white dress and adorable curly brown hair were an oil slick, and she looked rather surprised at the turn of events. I’d like to say that I followed the plea of one of the cover stories from the Parents magazine that arrived in the mail today to “Be a More Mellow Mom.” (I haven’t read the article, but I’m pretty sure they don’t have a two-year-old sous chef.) Instead, I chose to be a “Use Your Child’s First, Middle, and Last Name Mom.” I took off the dress, applied degreaser, carried my oily cherub to the bath, and put her in as she cried over having to take off her “special dress from Grandma.” After I bathed her, she still looked like she could audition for Grease, but it was a mild improvement. At this point, though, between the loss of the treasured dress, the lack of a nap, and mommy’s use of her full name, she had gone into two-year-old tantrum mode. She was writhing and screaming, refusing to have her diaper put on, twenty-four pounds of disgruntled determination. I returned downstairs to four-year-old Emma, calmly began to mix the homemade granola with her, and then headed up a couple of minutes later to check on Lily. She still wasn’t ready, so I put her in time out for not listening, and went down to start pouring the granola into the pan. At this point, Lily came down, sat on her daddy’s kitchen chair and told me, “Ready for diaper now, Mama.” I was glad to hear it, and I told her as soon as I finished putting the granola in the pan, I would help her. For those of you who haven’t eaten with us and those of you who never will again, our kitchen chairs are covered in fabric. In the forty-five seconds that it took me to complete spreading the granola in the pan, Lily looked at me with much wonder and said, “Daddy chair all wet, Mama.” I looked down, and sure enough, there was a sizeable puddle on Daddy’s chair. I ran to the sink to get something to clean it up, scrubbed with all my might, washed my hands, put the granola in the oven, and diapered my two-year-old. At which point, Emma said, “Mama, I’ve been a really good listener today, haven’t I?” And then, I just had to smile, because she did help us have a brighter day, and she was two once, too. Two years ago, she was learning about life and rules and consequences as only a two-year-old could, and now that she is four, the need for urgent mid-day baths seems to have mostly passed. She still has her four-year-old moments, but they are somehow much less messy, require fewer mopping sessions, and less scrubbing. So, though I have to say that it wasn’t an easy afternoon, it was a memorable one. I will remember that having children is part adventure, part love, and part hard work. I will remember to not expect a freshly mopped floor to last for more than a few minutes. Most of all, I will remember that this, too, shall pass, and I might even long for the days of greasy brown curls on a cute little head. Though I’m pretty sure that I will also enjoy the days when both girls can mop the floor themselves, know not to dump Canola oil on their heads, and require no diapering whatsoever. Still, I’m in no hurry for that. I’m guessing more than the Canola oil, I will remember my favorite quote from earlier in the day. As Lily ran in terror while I vacuumed, I heard Emma over the roar of the vacuum bestow her big sister wisdom: “Don’t worry, Lily. Mama won’t vacuum you. She loves you.” Maybe I am a mellow mom after all, or even better, a mom with boundaries and unconditional love, even when things get sticky. At least, I hope that’s what my kids will remember.

The Highlight Reel

Life has gotten busy, and among other things, spring (and now summer) cleaning has caused me to tackle some organizational projects in lieu of blogging. So now I find myself behind on recording memories that I hope to look back on one day. Therefore, this entry is going to be a highlight reel. May started with our sweet L turning two. We celebrated on her birthday with cake at lunch before Conant had to leave on a business trip that afternoon. At dinner, Emma, Lily, and I went out to eat with Grandpa and Grandma, Uncle Jason, Aunt Amanda, and Cousin Brynlee. We sang Happy Birthday at Lily’s birth time, and she loved every second of her special day. On Saturday, we had a family birthday with a love and nature / owl theme to coordinate with her big girl room.

 

Later in the month, Emma finished a fantastic preschool year. I was able to go and spend time with her on the last day, and it was fun to see her in her school element. She gained so much confidence this year. I am proud of her growth and grateful for her loving teachers.

 

With both girls being together full time again, we have had more moments of sibling rivalry, but also kindness. Emma has started to read to Lily more and also deliberately explain things to her: “Don’t worry, Lily. You think I’m going to eat it all, but I’m saving some for tomorrow, and I will give you some, too.” For Lily’s part, whenever she bumps into Emma, she says, “Sorry, EmEm,” and sometimes follows it with a hug. They play together more all of the time. At the end of May, we had family fun in Madison with an overnight trip. It was our best family (mini-)vacation yet. We went to the zoo. Grandpa and Grandma met us there and then took the girls to lunch while Conant and I had a quick lunch date. After, our family of four went to the hotel as Grandpa and Grandma headed home. The girls adored the swimming pool. They were so good at dinner, Trader Joe’s, and back at the hotel sleeping that night. After they fell asleep, Conant and I took turns going downstairs to work out. The next morning, we planned to go to the Farmer’s Market, but the girls had so much fun at the pool, we took them there again instead. They were fantastic at brunch, and we vowed to have more family fun again soon as we headed home. It is really nice that they are getting big enough to both walk, talk, and have memories of our good times together. I love babies and adore the toddler stage, but there’s something to be said for growing independence when we travel.

 

We’ve made many trips to Magic Waters, and the girls have a fantastic time taking on the kid water slides and splashing around. Emma even tried an adult tunnel slide with me. She said it was scary, but she didn’t cry. I was proud of her for trying it. Lily loves the froggy slide and goes down it again and again. Emma climbs up behind her and makes sure that she’s safe before Lily heads down it where I am waiting. I love to see them care about each other. Later in June, we headed to Pirate’s Cove in the suburbs for a day trip. It was another fun day. Lily started out very tentative but later tried many of the attractions, including the carousel, bounce house, train, and playground. We ate a picnic lunch on the pirate ship, and they both loved making crafts. Overall, it was a great day (in spite of a heart stopping moment when Lily fell off the kid-only carousel bench and the operators were changing over and didn’t see her tumble…yes, I was that mom who yelled, “Stop the carousel!” before she could hit the hard bricks below.) On an up note, my favorite moment of the day was when Emma proudly declared to some other kids in the bounce house, “That’s my sissy!”

 

Recently, we made a couple of trips to see Grandpa and Grandma while Conant had to travel for work. We had a great time on the farm and visiting Great-Grandpa and Great-Grandma W. and other family. I feel grateful that the girls have such warm and loving family members. We’ve also had great play dates with friends, taking advantage of our more flexible summer schedule. Emma has gone to gymnastics and ballet. Lily desperately wishes she were big enough to accompany Emma into her classes. Instead, we play as we watch through the window, and I try to be fun enough to make up for her little sister longings. When Conant arrived home from his most recent work trip, we met him at the bus station with signs reading D-A-D. The girls and I each decorated a letter, and we stood and waited for the bus in their nightgowns, as it was almost bedtime. Conant said they got lots of “awwws!” from other passengers on the bus when they pulled up. They were so excited to see Daddy, as was I!

 

Summer holds much sweetness, and we are thankful to share it with family, friends, and two of the sweetest girls we could imagine.

A Few Things I've Learned Along the Way

If my girls choose to have kids and they are fortunate enough to become mothers someday, I don’t want to be the kind of mom that’s always telling them what to do. I appreciate how my own mom gives me space to decide the kind of mom I want to be, and I’d like to pass this favor along to my girls. However, if they do ask for any bits of wisdom, something I’ve learned from my own mom is that it is hard to remember back to when your kids were small by the time they are in their thirties. So, I’ve decided to record a few things I’ve learned lately. Some of them were ideas I had because of problems I needed to solve, and some of them were great tips I learned from others. 1. 90% of the time, little ones put shoes on the wrong feet. You would think it would be a 50 / 50 chance, but it doesn’t seem to be at our house. I tried teaching Emma about holding up her hands to see which one made an “L” for “Left”, but it seemed to be too many steps when we’re trying to get out the door. Then, sandal season hit, and I decided to try something new. With a permanent marker, I put a dot or an X where her big toe should go on each sandal. Now putting on shoes is a breeze for her, and she no longer needs to ask me if she got it right as we’re rushing to get out the door. Even better, I don’t have to ask her to switch her shoes yet again. I dreaded that look of disappointment, and now we just have proud smiles. 2. With a four-year-old, the drive for independence is strong. Sometimes I don’t mind when this means mismatched outfits from her dressing herself, but other times, I want her to coordinate. Rather than this being a point of friction between us, I had her choose her outfit the night before to get approval. Even then, it seemed that we weren’t always on the same page as to what matched what. So together we gathered her clothes, and I asked her if she usually likes to pick her tops or bottoms first when she chooses her outfit. She said tops, so I took a digital picture of each of her tops with all of the bottoms that match it. For some tops, there was only one coordinating bottom. For others, there were many. She had fun with this process, trying to figure out why I chose each bottom. Then, I had the photos printed and put them in a little photo book that she can flip through as she plans her outfits. She is so proud that each outfit is already endorsed by mom so she can choose which one she wants. I have found that giving choices within boundaries keeps both of us happy. She satisfies her need for independence while still realizing that she has to respect her mommy. I think it’s a win-win.

 

3. With a two-year-old, the key also seems to be in giving choices. Even if Lily is in mid-two-year-old tantrum, if I ask her to make a decision, she can often be pulled out of it. She doesn’t want milk? I ask her if she wants it in the pink cup or the green cup. Sometimes, there is nothing that can be done to bring a two-year-old’s passionate cries to an end, but this works at least half of the time. Another thing that often works is asking her to help. If she is extremely reluctant to part with her SleepSack (blankie) to put it in the laundry, if I let her throw it in, she is much more willing. We adults like some sense of control, and so do our kids. 4. And now, for a tip that my own mom taught me. When cutting onions, no matter how many questions your kids ask, do not open your mouth to answer. Before, I always painfully teared up when I cut an onion, but now that I know to keep my mouth closed the entire time (no small feat for a talker like me!), no more tears. Thanks, Mom, for a tip worth passing along to your granddaughters. 5. Hiccup! The next tip is one I heard at my Mom to Mom group at church. If someone has hiccups, simply put water and a metal spoon in a glass glass. Then, have them drink from it while the metal spoon rests in the water. It has worked to rid Emma and me of our hiccups every single time. There is absolutely nothing I claim to be an expert on in parenting, but I figure that these are things that I might forget in a few decades when my own girls could be asking for advice. So here it is…if it happens to help any of my mom friends now, fantastic. I have learned many nuggets of motherly wisdom from my friends, so it’s about time that I returned the favor with a few tips that I can share. This motherhood journey is one of continuous learning, mistakes, improvisation, and hopefully improvement. I am so indebted to my own mom and mom friends. Thanks, ladies, for helping me be a better mom.