Mom Mistakes

I just committed so many mom mistakes that you’d think I was a total rookie at this mom thing. I definitely have a long way to go, but I also should have known better. It started last night when I set myself up for failure by telling another mom that we’ve been going through a really good phase. The best way to end a streak of success is to acknowledge it, so I really brought all of this on myself. The mistakes continued this morning when I optimistically left the house, one- and three-year-old in tow, to go swimsuit shopping for myself. My need for a swimsuit has reached critical importance. After wearing the same tankini for seven-and-a-half years, it has had the audacity to begin wearing through on both the top and bottom, creating rather large areas that should be covered and aren’t. Therefore, I could put off the dreaded task no more. My hubby has even sent me alone, but I have come back unsuccessful, desperately trying to find a suit that’s appropriate for chasing around my little ones but not appropriate for my grandma. So, this morning I thought, “Emma will think it’s exciting to pick something out for Mommy. We so rarely shop for anything for me. She will have fun watching Mommy try suits on in front of a huge mirror. Lily’s a pretty content baby. All will be well.” Pride cometh before the fall, and a truly experienced mom knows never to get too comfortable or too confident. My next error in judgment was running into a store trying to travel lightly and quickly (as lightly and quickly as you can travel with a double stroller), and therefore leaving the diaper bag with critical snacks in the minivan. Therefore, I found myself in the dressing room with a three-year-old who had absolutely no interest in seeing Mommy play dress up after the first couple of suits and a one-year-old who was hungry, tired, and making a noise that anyone but her mother (okay, even me) would have referred to as, “The most annoying sound in the world, easily surpassing fingernails on the chalkboard.” She continued to be adorable, but that didn’t help our cause, as no one could see how cute she was as she emitted an ear piercing noise from inside the dressing room. Fellow shoppers, my own children, retail staff, may I apologize on behalf of myself. My offspring know not what they do. I truly brought this on all of us. And after all of this, including a three-year-old who continually “accidentally” knocked the swimsuits off of the stroller and therefore into a big, tangled mess, I felt that I had to leave the store buying something. I’m not even sure I like what I got. So, at the register, I asked the kind lady, “Is this returnable? We ran out of patience. (And the kids weren’t too happy, either.)” Upon reaching the car, we had a very silent ride home. L fell asleep within ten seconds of take off, and I think Emma was going for self-preservation when she saw Mommy’s very frazzled face. What have I learned from this series of unfortunate events? Never, ever machine wash your swimsuit. If I had only hand washed it, I could have put this whole event off until someday when my girls are old enough that I will be begging them to find swimsuits that look just a little bit more like something their grandma would wear.